Wheels, Cadavers, and Ninja Turtles? | FFFW #38

MAKE TODAY AWESOME!

Two things:

One: Whenever I’m writing these FFFW’s I often search for “this day in history” articles to write the section you’re reading now. So, I did the same thing today… and let me tell you; I didn’t find much. A lot of boring or straight up bad things have happened on the 29th. That being said, we’re changing the script. Today is going to be awesome because it can be.

Two: Yesterday, I was telling someone that I work in the funeral space, and they said, “that sounds like a DEAD-end job,” and they were really proud of it. I laughed along while masking my inner disdain. Here at the FFFW we’re all about positivity. But, Mrs. Shirley made me feel rage by telling such a terrible joke. Thankfully, a great release of anger is breaking things. So, to move past this, I’m dedicating this first GIF to everyone that puts up with terrible jokes like this all the time.

GAME TIME!

How many caskets (approximately) would it take to balance the weight of the largest blue whale? (Click on your guess. If it’s right, you’ll see a GIF of a man jumping in water like a whale. If not, you’ll see a GIF of Steve Buscemi.)

HOW TO MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME

You’re very busy. You have to be. This profession doesn’t lend itself to copious amounts of free time and a light workload. So, wouldn’t it be nice to have some backup? Wouldn’t it feel freeing to have people you trust working with your company and brand? Well, DISRUPT Media wants to give you those feelings and so much more.

Not only does DISRUPT Media provide you with a digital marketing strategy, 24/7 page monitoring (reading messages, responding to comments, etc.), and the boldest ideas to help you pierce through the noise, but DISRUPT Media gives you a full-blown team. That’s right.

Members of DISRUPT Media have access to writers, graphic designers, creative developers, and an analytics team that all share the same goal: they want to see you succeed.

Sounds good? Too good? Well… good. It only gets better because this whole team only costs a third of what you might pay one full-time employee.

See how DISRUPT Media can help you.

WANT AN AD IN FFFW LIKE THIS? JUST SHOOT RYAN AN EMAIL AT RYAN@DISRUPTMEDIA.CO WE’LL WRITE UP AN ARTICLE AND MAKE A CUSTOM GIF!

MY BODY GOES TO SCIENCE

CD posted an article about people donating their bodies to science. READ THAT HERE. Now I want to make an argument as to why funeral directors should donate THEIR bodies to science.

1) Y’all drink insane amounts of caffeine. What does that do to a body? Who knows? But I feel like if we conducted a study on funeral directors, we could discover some fascinating things about the limits of the human body.

2) Y’all have insane sleep routines, and you live forever. There are so many old funeral directors out there and you all average like five minutes of rest a night. Is that the key to youthfulness? Does the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” thing actually push off the reaper? Who knows, but we need to find out.

3) Y’all have no days off. What does that physically do to flesh and blood? I would love to know.

So there you go, three studies that could be done on funeral directors.

COMIC OF THE WEEK

For the 90’s kids.

YOU OTTER BE PROUD

Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect and doing great things!