5 Must-Haves for “Funeral Fall”
DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.
Happy Friday, y’all! IDK about y’all- but every person I know is getting sick rn. So, I hope you’re feeling well and even if you’re not- I hope you can escape into the GIFs and good news of the FFFW for a few moments.
Days until Thanksgiving: 13
Days until Christmas: 40
Days until New Years: 47
Days until Chiefs win the Big Game: 86
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5 Fall Accessories Every Funeral Pro Absolutely Needs
1. Mud-Proof Shoes That Are Also Cemetery Chic 🍁
When the ground is soft, and the leaves are soggy, you don’t want to be the one sinking into the grave (literally). Waterproof, mud-proof shoes are the unsung heroes of funeral fashion. Bonus if they’re stylish enough to say, “I can officiate and outrun a thunderstorm.”
2. The Swiss Army of Travel Mugs ☕
Your fall caffeine game needs to be strong. Enter the travel mug that does it all—keeps your drink hot, fits in the hearse cupholder, and has a lid secure enough to survive a brisk graveside wind. If it’s pumpkin spice, we won’t judge…much.
3. A Coat That Says ‘Respectful Warmth’ 🧥
It’s freezing at the graveside, but your ratty old parka isn’t cutting it anymore. A well-tailored coat in a fall-friendly color (think charcoal or navy) strikes the perfect balance between staying warm and looking like a professional who just stepped out of a catalog for emotionally supportive clothing.
4. An Umbrella That Means Business ☂️
Forget those flimsy, dollar-store models that flip inside out at the first gust of wind. You need an umbrella that’s sturdy, sleek, and big enough to share with a grieving family member—because nothing says “support” like not letting them get drenched mid-eulogy.
5. A Lapel Pin That Brings Subtle Seasonal Sass 🍂
Yes, you’re dressed in somber black, but that doesn’t mean you can’t add a touch of fall flair. A tasteful maple leaf or acorn lapel pin says, “I’m here for you, and I also appreciate a good seasonal aesthetic.” Just don’t go too far—this isn’t a craft fair.
Fall is unpredictable, but with these accessories, you’ll stay dry, warm, and ready for whatever the season (or your schedule) throws at you.
Trivia
Which author worked as a funeral director’s assistant?
(Click the correct answer, and you’ll get a video of a puppy. Click the wrong answer, and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.)
Answer Choices:
A) Edgar Allen Poe
B) Mary Shelly
C) Stephen King
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- Tribute Technology Launches the Inaugural Tech-Enabled Funeral Home Awards
- Old Lick Cemetery in Roanoke cleaned, repaired with help of national expert
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones