Election Week Special | FFFW 211 | Connecting Directors

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.

Y’all- it’s November. And next week, a new president will be voted on. So this is our election week special. That being said- you know how we roll here… we keep it light and fun. Presidents will come and go, but the FFFW is here to stay. So, we’re going to keep focusing on our main policies here:

Our policies include the following:

– A WEEKLY PROVISION OF SATIRE, AND LIGHT-HEARTED FUNERAL CONTENT

– FREE GIFs FOR EVERYONE- THAT’S IT…

Days until Election: 3
Days until Thanksgiving: 27
Days until Christmas: 54
Days we’re promised: 0 – so let’s make the most out of this one!

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Could Funeral Pros Start Their Own Political Party? You’re Not as Far Off as You Think!

That’s right—imagine a world where funeral professionals have their very own political party. You might think that sounds a little far-fetched, but niche political parties have been shaking things up for years! Let’s take a look at a few unusual parties that have paved the way for the kind of unique movement only funeral pros could bring.

We’re in Good Company: Some of America’s Strangest Political Parties

The Rent is Too Damn High Party: Founded by New York icon Jimmy McMillan, this party champions affordable rent as the root cause of many of our social problems. Jimmy’s memorable mustache and rallying cry (“The rent is too damn high!”) made him a viral sensation, proving there’s room in politics for some personality.

The Birthday Party: Founded by Kanye West (yes, that Kanye), this short-lived 2020 party was all about celebrating individuality and spiritual renewal. Kanye’s slogan? “Yes, we will.” Though it fizzled out, The Birthday Party lives on as proof that sometimes politics is just about standing out.

The Guns and Dope Party: Proposed by author Robert Anton Wilson, this “party” promotes the radical concept of freedom for all—guns for those who want them, dope for those who want that, and minding your own business for the rest. It’s an “anything goes” platform in its purest form, and who knew it would resonate so widely?

The Lemonade Freedom Party: Believe it or not, there’s a movement to free the lemonade stand from red tape! The Lemonade Freedom Party advocates for the right of kids everywhere to sell lemonade without interference. It’s a sweet reminder that every issue, big or small, has a voice.

The Pizza Party: A party for pizza lovers everywhere, this movement aims to bring people together through shared love of pizza. While it’s mostly a spoof, The Pizza Party has amassed a cult following as a slice of levity in the political world. If pizza can unite us, anything can!

Naming the Funeral Party

Now, what would we call our hypothetical funeral profession political party? Here are a few names that are up for debate:

The Final Farewell Party – Prioritizing dignity, tradition, and transparency in all policies.
The Rest in Peace Party (RIP) – Because who wouldn’t want to vote RIP?
The Celebration of Life Party – Advocating for personalized services and remembrance.
The Funeral Freedom Party – Pushing for choice, affordability, and maybe even a little pizza at every service.

Final Thoughts
So there you have it. Maybe a Funeral Freedom Party is just what the world needs to start rethinking funeral service, community, and good old-fashioned humanity. After all, if a Pizza Party can go viral, why not give The Final Farewell Party a shot?

Trivia

Which president had the largest attended funeral?

(Click the correct answer, and you’ll get a video of a puppy. Click the wrong answer, and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.)

Answer Choices:

A) George Washington
B) Abe Lincoln
C) Ronald Reagan