Funeral Twisters | FFFW 199
DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.
We’ve almost done it! We’ve almost reached 200 issues of the FFFW! I can’t believe it’s worked. See, 199 issues ago, I decided I would see if I could turn my love of otters, GIFs, and satire into a vocational task – and here we are! So next week, we’re gonna party.
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Funeral Director Starts Wearing Cowboy Hat; Says It Has Nothing to Do with Watching “Twisters”
In an unexpected twist (pun intended), local funeral director Jerry “The Twister” Thompson has begun sporting a cowboy hat during services at Smith Brothers Funeral Home. While some speculate this new fashion choice is influenced by his recent obsession with the film “Twisters,” Jerry insists it’s purely coincidental.
“People have been asking if I’m trying to channel my inner storm chaser,” Jerry said with a chuckle, adjusting his hat to a rakish angle. “But honestly, I just thought it was time to change things up a bit.”
Sources close to Jerry reveal that he’s been spending his downtime between services glued to weather forecasts, muttering about funnel clouds and barometric pressure. One particularly stormy day, Jerry even inquired about installing ground anchors in the hearse, causing some raised eyebrows among his staff.
“I just want to ensure we’re prepared for any situation,” Jerry explained, tapping his cowboy boots. “You never know when a tornado might hit during a service.”
Despite his denials, rumors persist. Some employees have caught Jerry practicing his best “Yee-haw!” in front of the mirror, and there have been whispers of a secret stash of “Twisters” memorabilia in his office.
“I suppose it’s just a coincidence that my new favorite movie happens to feature cowboys and tornadoes,” Jerry said, tipping his hat. “But let’s just say, if you see me riding into town on a horse, you might want to check the weather forecast.”
In the meantime, Jerry’s newfound cowboy persona is providing a bit of levity at Smith Brothers Funeral Home. “We’re all just bracing ourselves for the day he shows up with a lasso,” one employee remarked. “But hey, at least he’s keeping things interesting!”
Trivia
What state was the first to legalize green burial?
Click on the right answer, and you’ll see a puppy dog. Get it wrong, and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.
A) Washington
B) Oregon
C) Montana
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- New Gregg County burial policy aims to help funeral homes
- Old Lick Cemetery in Roanoke cleaned, repaired with help of national expert
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones