Director Says “Let’s Circle Back,” Accidentally Condemns Staff to Endless Meeting

Can you feel that? It’s the sweet sensation of the weekend approaching. Let’s never forget — the weekend is AWESOME, and that means Fridays are amazing. We’ve been doing this article so long that I forget not everybody knows why it’s called the FFFW. “FFFW” stands for “Friday Funeral Fast Wrap.” This is simply my way of getting some good funeral-based laughs in as we close out the week and get our weekend vibes going.

So, let’s keep it rolling and have a good time!

New monthly newsletter!

“The Memo” is for funeral directors to stay updated on the latest tools, pro-tips, video tricks, and technology op-eds in the funeral profession. Subscribers will get exclusive access to early offers, discounts, and feature releases

To subscribe to The Memo, click the button below.

[Subscribe Now]

Sarasota, Florida — What began as a routine Monday morning staff meeting at EverRest Funeral Chapel reportedly spiraled into a timeless corporate nightmare after owner Brent Wexler uttered the phrase, “Let’s circle back on that,” at approximately 9:07 a.m.

According to witnesses, nobody has been able to leave since.

“At first it sounded normal,” said office administrator Kelly Haines, now believed to be entering her fourth fiscal quarter inside the conference room. “He said we’d circle back on the flower cooler issue, then circle back on the schedule, then circle back on whether we needed to revisit the first thing we circled back on. Pretty soon we weren’t having a meeting anymore. We were trapped in a concept.”

Sources say the meeting initially covered several standard topics, including prep room supply costs, family follow-up procedures, and whether the funeral home’s new complimentary pens felt “premium” enough. But every attempt to conclude a topic was immediately interrupted by Wexler gently raising one finger and suggesting the team “put a pin in that and circle back.” By 11:30 a.m., staff had re-discussed the same three issues seven times, though nobody could remember what their original opinion had been or whether it mattered.

“It’s like the room folds in on itself every time he says it,” said funeral director Mark Ellison, staring blankly at a legal pad filled with increasingly frantic versions of the phrase “ACTION ITEM???”. “We’ll think we’ve reached a decision, then Brent says we need to zoom out, level set, and circle back. Then somehow we’re back at the very beginning talking about printer toner like it’s a matter of national importance.”

Employees say time inside the meeting has begun to behave strangely. One staff member claims she watched the coffee in her mug go cold, get reheated, and go cold again without anybody ever taking a break. Another reported hearing Wexler say, “Before we move on…” so many times that the phrase no longer has any meaning in the English language.

By mid-afternoon, the group had developed several visible symptoms including slumped posture, thousand-yard stares, and involuntary nodding whenever the words “next steps” were spoken. One apprentice director reportedly attempted escape by saying he had a removal to make, only to be told that they should “table that for now and circle back once there’s more alignment.”

“That was when I knew we were dealing with something bigger than a bad meeting,” Haines said. “This wasn’t poor leadership. This was supernatural.”

Wexler, for his part, appeared energized by the process and was last seen standing at the head of the table in front of a dry erase board that simply read “Parking Lot” and “Synergy,” neither of which had been explained. Witnesses say he remained calm throughout the ordeal, occasionally smiling and assuring the team they were “making great progress,” despite having made none.

At press time, staff had reportedly begun drawing lots to determine who would be forced to give the final recap, while Wexler was preparing to circle back on whether the meeting had gone a little long.

Ask the Funeral Dude!

Question:
Hey Funeral Dude, is there a respectful way to hide in the hallway when a family friend starts singing an unexpected second verse? – Mr. HidenSeek

Answer:
Mr. HidenSeek, this is a valid question. So many times in our profession we snag the quick bite, push off lunch until dinner, or miss meals altogether.

That said, I do not believe you should count those missed meals as some kind of health achievement. This is not dieting. This is service. If your schedule got so out of hand that your body forgot what time it was, that is not a fitness plan. That is just funeral home life.

Now, with that said, should you quietly carry it like a badge of honor? Absolutely.

There is a certain dignity in being able to say, without any trace of self-pity, “I have not had a full lunch on a weekday since 2018.” Not because you are proud of neglecting yourself, but because it tells people you are seasoned. You are battle-tested. You have eaten half a turkey sandwich over a trash can and kept moving. You have called peanuts and a Diet Coke “enough for now.” You have looked at a granola bar at 4:45 p.m. and thought, well, I suppose this is dinner.

The key is to never make it sound like complaining. Complaining is sloppy. But a calm, dignified mention that you once worked straight through an eight-hour stretch on one cheese stick and pure resolve? That is professional folklore. That is heritage. That is how younger staff learn who among them has truly seen things.

So no, do not count it. But do remember it. And when the moment is right, reference it with the quiet pride of a man who has sacrificed much and been rewarded with absolutely nothing except experience and DIGNITY.