Embalmer Can’t See Colors? | FFFW 254
Welcome back to issue 254 of the FFFW. Every once in a while, I like to remind people what “FFFW” stands for. Believe it or not, it doesn’t stand for “Formaldehyde-Fueled Fun Weekly,” and it also doesn’t stand for “Funeral Folks Feeling Wacky.” Oh yeah- it also doesn’t stand for “First Call? Fantastic! Wait…”
What it does stand for is “Friday Funeral Fast Wrap.” For 254 weeks, our goal has been to deliver a quick, little weekend snack of an email to your inbox each Friday. Why? Because Fridays are awesome and we want to be a part of that!
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Embalmer Claims New Suit Is “Charcoal”; Entire Staff Votes “Blue”
RIVER OAKS, OH—The day began with a simple compliment: “Nice blue jacket,” a coworker told embalmer Derek Walsh as he hung up his coat. “It’s charcoal,” Walsh replied, already rolling his sleeve under the breakroom light.
Determined to prove it, Walsh conducted a building-wide survey: prep room bars, chapel dimmer, copier lamp, even “natural light” by the loading bay. Every single respondent: blue. “Midnight Graphite is a shade of gray,” he said, brandishing the inner tag like a court exhibit. “The cameras here just push cyan.”
By late afternoon, Walsh delivered his final finding. “Everyone’s wrong,” he announced, rehanging the jacket with forensic care. “Under neutral conditions, it reads gray. The lighting here is dramatic—that’s what’s blue.” He then nodded at his reflection and added, “Great charcoal, though.”
Trivia
Choose the correct answer and you’ll see a puppy. Get it wrong and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.
If you filled an average NFL stadium with the number of U.S. deaths in a year, about how many full stadiums would you need?
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- This Milford nonprofit helps families with high funeral costs
- People Magazine Covers Funeral Profession Story
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones
