Paula Deen in the Deathcare Space? | FFFW #171

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.

Let’s go! We’ve reached issue #171! That means we’re at yet another palindromic issue. And if you’re wondering “Will he ALWAYS bring up the fact that some numbers are palindromes?” then the answer is YES! And throughout the next 52 issues, it will happen 5 more times- so get ready for that!

3 Reasons Livestreaming Funerals on Facebook is Problematic

1) Aunt Nancy is going to use the “mad” instead of the “care” emoji and this will lead people to believe there’s some family drama going on.

2) “Go Rest High On That Mountain” gets your page flagged. Then when people rewatch the services there’s just silence for giant chunks at a time.

3) It *legally gives Mark Zuckerberg the rights to your families’ souls and eternal destinations.

FORTUNATELY THERE’S ANOTHER WAY
MemoryShare allows you to stream and keep your services inside of your obits.

Also, Facebook Live videos don’t appear in Google Search. This means going live on Facebook does not help you reach more people organically. MemoryShare improves SEO and increases leads and traffic to your website.

See how they helped Stevens Funeral Home increase monthly call volume.

*this point is actually misinformation

The Ultimate Southern Funeral Food

Fun fact: It’s Paula Deen’s birthday today. Obviously, she’s known for a few things but I know her for being a Southern cooking mama. And yes, I also feel uncomfortable with how I just used “mama.” But, it sounded nice and southern, AND I Googled it and she is in fact a mom. So we’re safe.

So, that inspired me to think … What would be the ultimate Southern funeral food? So by combining all the iconic southern funeral foods, I’ve created this masterpiece!

Base Layer: Cornbread and Biscuit Crumble
Start with a layer of crumbled cornbread and biscuits, creating a savory, buttery base that absorbs the flavors of the layers above.

Second Layer: Fried Chicken Bits
Over the base, scatter bite-sized pieces of crispy fried chicken, adding a satisfying crunch and rich flavor.

Third Layer: Macaroni and Cheese
Follow with a layer of creamy, cheesy macaroni and cheese, ensuring it’s extra gooey.

Fourth Layer: Green Bean Casserole Mixture
Next, a layer of green bean casserole, complete with creamy mushroom soup and topped with crispy fried onions.

Fifth Layer: Potato Salad and Coleslaw Mix
Combine potato salad and coleslaw in a tangy, creamy mixture, spreading it over the green bean casserole layer.

Sixth Layer: Casserole Toppings
Add a variety of casserole toppings like cheese, breadcrumbs, or crushed crackers for texture.

Seventh Layer: Sweet Potato and Pecan Crumble
For a touch of sweetness, a layer of mashed sweet potatoes topped with a pecan crumble mirrors the flavors of traditional Southern pies.

Baking and Serving:
Bake the casserole until it’s heated through and the top is crispy and golden.
Serve it warm, ideally with a side of sweet tea.

This epic Southern funeral dish would be a heartwarming tribute to traditional flavors, combining comfort foods in a unique, communal way. It would certainly be a memorable centerpiece at any gathering, embodying the spirit of Southern hospitality and comfort… mama.

Trivia

If you click the right answer you’ll get a GIF of a puppy. If you click wrong, you’ll get something else.

In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, there is a unique funeral practice where the body of the deceased is left on a mountaintop to be exposed to the elements and scavenging birds. What is the name of this funeral practice?

A) Celestial Offering
B) Sky Burial
C) Mountain Ritual
D) Airborne Ceremony