Kidnap Your Grief Dog? | FFFW 161 | Connecting Directors

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.

Welcome to the 314th day of the year! You’ve made it. Now, we only have a couple of pre-Christmas season Fridays left. And I’m a holiday guy so I’m trying really hard to relent. But this issue and the next will be our last non-Christmasy editions for the year. So, if you’re not a huge holiday guy, enjoy it.

Also, it’s worth noting that this is issue 161, which means we’re on yet another palindromic edition of the FFFW. And I sure do love palindromes.

Fridays left til Christmas: 6

Homesteaders Makes it Rain?

What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.

GOALS TO SET FOR 2024

This is the time of year when you should start reflecting on the past months and begin setting your goals for 2024. Most people either A) don’t do that or B) make really lame goals.

So I did it for you.

Here are the FFFW-approved goals that every funeral home should strive for.

1) Increase call volume by 20%
2) Run 3 lead campaigns.
3) Come up with a cool name for “urns” like the “Ashy-Basky”.
4) Just do it.
5) Shoot for the stars.
6) If you fail you could still hit the moon.
7) Get a guy on the team who will say “I barely know her” when appropriate.
8) Get a grief dog.
9) Fake a dog-napping.
10) Post about it.
11) Go viral.
12) Now you have a golden doodle AND a viral news story.
13) Don’t let it be a golden doodle.
14) There are better breeds out there.
15) Have some fun.