What's the Tom Cruise Funeral Plan?

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.

It is the second to last Friday in July and I hope you’ve been having a killer month. July is one of the best, and in my opinion the last full month summer. On the FFFW calendar, fall kicks off halfway through August. Because normally that’s the time that I get tired of sweat stains and sunburns.

Anyway- here’s a GIF of a shark. (Shark week starts on Monday…)

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Mission: Impossible Funeral Edition???

Yesterday a co-worker of mine posed an interesting question:
“How insane do you think Tom Cruise’s funeral is going to be?”

Let me preface this before I go any further; Tom Cruise is an incredible actor and I wish him a very long and happy life.

Anyway, it’s an interesting question. Because Tom Cruise does the coolest things ever. Like, he jumps out of planes, flies planes, and walks on planes. And he’s done other cool stunts but most of the ones I think of involve planes.

So is he going to have the most bonkers funeral ever?

I mean, will he do a huge arena filled with Hollywood A-listers? Does he get buried or cremated? Do they set up his famous movie props on a platform with him?

Who knows?

Tom Cruise is America’s action hero. But maybe he’s going to pull a 180 and just do something subtle.

Well, maybe. Upon a quick Google of “Tom Cruise Funeral,” I couldn’t find any interviews of people asking him about it, or him mentioning anything. I did find a ton of fake videos from years ago saying that ‘ol Tommy has died.

I did one more search though that actually did yield results.

“Scientology funeral.”

I didn’t read very far, but I found an article about another famous Hollywood scientologist that passed away.

When Kristie Alley passed away she was cremated and had her service at the Scientology headquarters.

So, maybe that’s what he’ll do.

Honestly, that’s all I got for this article. I know it’s not the standard FFFW zinger, but it’s a very fascinating thing to think about. Also the new Mission: Impossible is out and it looks incredible. So go enjoy.