A Funeral Home's "Twas The Night Before Christmas" | FFFW 116

It’s issue 116 AND it’s the 16th?!?! WOAH!

The 16th of December is an ordinary day like any other unless you’re a fan of the number 16. In that case, it’s a day to celebrate the most “16-tastic” day of the year! Some people like to mark the occasion by eating 16 cookies, or by wearing their lucky number 16 shirt. Others might try to fit 16 puns into a single sentence (for example, “I heard the 16th of December is going to be a real “sweet sixteen”!). No matter how you celebrate, just remember to have fun and embrace your inner 16 spirit. Let’s go!

Fridays till Christmas: 1

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (FUNERAL EDITION)

This whole poem was written by AI. With the command “Write a funeral version of Twas The Night Before Christmas.”

“Twas the night before a funeral, and all through the morgue

Not a creature was stirring, not even an ogre.

The cadavers were laid out in neat rows with care,

In hopes that their families soon would be there.

The director was nestled all snug in his bed,

While visions of pallbearers danced in his head.

His family asleep and finally at rest,

He thought of how this day he’d done his best.

He had worked late into the night to ensure everything ran smooth; To honor each life taken far too soon.

And when it came time for them to take their leave, The room filled with sorrow and grief so deep.

But now as he lay counting death’s cold tolls, His thoughts turned to those who’ve been taken away from us whole –

The lives gone too quickly without any goodbye; To remember them fondly he softly sighed:

“Death takes us all eventually,” he said with a nod – “But we can remain ever gracious amid grief’s heavy load.”

So tonight, let us honor these souls nevermore seen – And cherish our memories of those lost within this dream.”

WOW. That’s demented and yet somehow beautiful.