Saved By The Bayside Mortuary Service | FFFW #95
This has been an ‘80s summer. With Top Gun, Kate Bush, and Metalica all topping their own charts, it’s easy to see that we’ve gone back a few decades. BUT, this is issue 95, and the ’90s were super cool too. So, we’re moving up 10 years at the FFFW- welcome to our all-out ‘90s special issue. Let’s BOP IT!
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BAYSIDE FUNERAL HOME
So, I got thinking, what would’ve happened if the characters of “Saved By The Bell” ended up graduating from Bayside and then went to a good mortuary school to start their deathcare career? Now, I know this is a weird thought, but I get paid to have weird thoughts. So I went ahead and thought some more. Now, I’ve decided what position each character would take on as a part of “Bayside Mortuary Services.”
Obviously, this dude can’t be in the limelight. So, he found a job behind the scenes. As it turns out, even though he can barely handle himself- he handles others VERY well. He’s the BMS head embalmer.
She’s excited, she’s excited, she’s sooo excited to be the CEO and head funeral director of BMS. Obviously, she’s the brains of the gang and is the most capable to run the business.
The fashionista’s love of gossip ended up making her very personable. She now holds the title of head grief counselor. She and Screech still aren’t together; she continues to insult him, but the jeers are slightly morbid now.
America’s girl has continued to be a cheerleader. Now instead of cheering for the Tigers, she routes for BMS as the lead marketing coordinator/PR director. The heartbreaker has continued to turn heads as the face of the firm.
The jock was offered the position of hearse driver. However, he was unable to sit backward in the driver’s seat, so he passed. Instead, he’s the all-around guy; he covers the miscellaneous things but is currently on work probation for referring to his boss as “Momma” too many times.
Meet our funeral director/head of arrangements. Zach is great with families and loves working side-by-side with all of his best friends. He always wonders if he could’ve done more with his life, considering the fact that he can literally stop time and freeze people at any moment. This low-key avenger is always happy to help at Bayside Memorial Services.
Of course, all food is catered by The Max. You also might see the homeless girl that Zach’s family adopted for one episode lurking in the shadows. But we don’t talk about her. What do you think? Are you ready to pre-plan with the gang?
You Otter Be Proud
Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect, and doing great things!