The Biggest Problems Facing Funeral Professionals | FFFW #89

ENJOY Friday Funeral Fast Wrap Funeral Industry News June 3, 2022

The Biggest Problems Facing Funeral Professionals | FFFW #89

We made it to June! Most importantly for me- we made it to June 3rd, aka my birthday. So today is extra special for me. Not only did I survive another lap around the sun, but it’s also a Friday. I’m THE Friday guy and I get to celebrate this day with y’all on the best day of the week. Pretty cool if you ask me. So, consider this issue my birthday bash, and consider the GIFs and goodness my party favors to you. Now let’s celebrate!


Skyrocket Your Funeral Business with Online Arrangements from Parting Pro!

Our one-click proposal generation doesn’t let price shoppers slip through the cracks. Parting Pro customers sell more merchandise with less effort. Let us show you how we can help take your business past the moon and to the stars!


My Birthday Soapbox

I got some things I want to get off of my chest about this profession. And since this is the most selfish issue I’ve ever done- why not just use it as my soapbox? So here we go- here are three hot-takes I have.

1) It’s kind of weird if embalming is your favorite part.

I’m not saying you’re not valuable and needed- I’m saying it’s weird. It just is. There are approximately 8,701,345 careers you had to choose from and you chose the only one that involves draining blood from dead bodies on a daily basis. Am I saying you need to change? Absolutely not, but understand that the wiring in your brain is different from that of an accountant or a firefighter, or literally every other professional. My present to you on my birthday is the gift of self-awareness, please take it.

2) Your grief dog needs to look happy.

It’s supposed to help people going through grief- it’s not supposed to be going through grief itself. I’ve seen some pretty somber-looking grief dogs in my life. I’ve seen some dogs that look like they’ve seen some things and might need some help themselves. Once again, have self-awareness; you can still love old fido but if he’s scaring children you need to put him on the retirement board. Or just get a golden doodle. Those pups are America’s dogs for a reason.

3) Cremation is not a “peaceful process.”

I’ve heard this said. I’ve heard a funeral professional describe the process of heating up a body until skin and organs turn into ash as “a very peaceful process.” What? I’m not anti-cremation at all. I think it makes sense for so many reasons, but let’s be honest- it’s not peaceful. Name one other incident where burning flesh and bone would ever be in the same category as something “peaceful.” Try it. That’s what I thought- you can’t.

Thanks for attending my TedTalk, carry on your way.


Comic of the Week

We’re going green!


You Otter Be Proud

Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect, and doing great things!


1) Texas Deathcare Pros Step Up in Extraordinary Ways Following Uvalde Tragedy

2) Texas Artist Meets with Uvalde Families to Plan Custom Casket Designs for School Shooting Victims

3) Colorado’s first dedicated ‘green cemetery’ helps people return to the earth once they’ve passed