Howdy y’all! Welcome back to the Friday Funeral Fast Wrap. For 5 and a half years, we’ve been cranking out satire, GIFs, and weekend vibes each and every Friday. Have we missed a couple? Well yeah- but not many! And you can bet your best tie that we’re not missing today!
Let’s go!
HOLIDAY TRACKER!
11 Fridays until Halloween
14 Fridays until Thanksgiving
18 Fridays until Christmas
Let Directors be Directors
Families won’t remember how you made the day memorable.
They’ll remember how they felt, and they’ll remember your invaluable help arranging everything. But that day, you had everything working perfectly behind the scenes.
Everything, especially your technology, needs to be working silently in the background when the service is about to begin. A reliable livestream means you can do your job more easily.
You can stay focused on the family and every other aspect of the service. Whether family members or guests attend in person or join in from across the ocean, a simple, seamless experience keeps everyone’s attention where it belongs.
A livestreaming platform designed specifically for funeral professionals can make all the difference. Simple, dependable technology gives you confidence and the peace-of-mind you crave just as the funeral is beginning. No added worries or distractions.
Our goal is to inspire funeral directors with the simplest tools, exceptional live support, and the ability to deliver seamless online guest experiences. We understand what it takes to make everyone’s livestream experience stress-free, including yours.
This week’s Tip #19 is a video about the key element everyone should know about when it comes to worry-free streaming.
Watch the video for this week’s Tip!
Funeral Director Uses Funeral Procession to Cut Entire School Pickup Line
HENDERSONVILLE, TN — Local funeral director Mark Reynolds has reportedly discovered the only known way to defeat one of America’s most frustrating institutions: the elementary school pickup line.
According to witnesses, Reynolds was leading a 14-car funeral procession Tuesday afternoon when he noticed the route would take him directly past his daughter’s school at approximately 3:07 p.m.
That’s when he saw his opportunity.
Rather than joining the line of SUVs stretching nearly half a mile down the road, Reynolds simply turned on his hazards, led the entire procession into the pickup lane, and proceeded directly to the front.
“I’ve been doing processions for 22 years,” Reynolds said. “You think I’m sitting behind 46 Tahoes when I’ve got flags on the hood and a police escort?”
Confused school employees initially attempted to redirect the procession before realizing there were now 14 vehicles following Reynolds bumper-to-bumper and absolutely no practical way to stop what was happening.
Reynolds pulled up to the curb, rolled down his window, and calmly gave the teacher his daughter’s pickup number.
Witnesses say his daughter climbed into the lead car while dozens of parents watched in stunned silence.
The procession then continued to the cemetery, arriving only four minutes behind schedule.
Reynolds has reportedly already volunteered to handle pickups for the rest of the school year.
ASK THE FUNERAL DUDE!
Dear Funeral Dude, what am I supposed to say when someone asks me at a party, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen at work?” -Mr.Socially Ambushed
Dear Mr.Socially Ambushed,
This is a trap.
They don’t actually want to know the craziest thing you’ve ever seen at work. They THINK they do. There’s a difference.
What they want is a fun little story. Maybe somebody put the wrong song in a slideshow. Maybe a squirrel ran through a graveside service. Something they can laugh at, take a sip of their drink, and say, “Man, your job is crazy.”
They do NOT want the actual answer.
Because you and I both know you’ve seen things that would cause everyone at that party to quietly set down their spinach dip and go home.
So keep three stories ready at all times.
One funny.
One weird.
And one that sounds crazy to civilians but is actually a Tuesday for you.
Under no circumstances should you give them the real answer.
You have to see these people again.
Stay strong,
The Funeral Dude
GIF OF THE WEEK
