Fall just got COLD here in Tennessee, and I love it! I can stand and enjoy any weather as long as I know Thanksgiving and Christmas are right down the road. So bring on the coats, turn on the house heat; I’ll do it all with joy until January- then I’ll complain constantly. But we are far from that! So let’s celebrate ANOTHER FRIDAY!
HOLIDAY TRACKER
NOTE: My numbers have been messed up on this recently. But alas, we’ve fixed it.
THANKSGIVING: 1 Friday
CHRISTMAS: 6 Fridays
NEW YEAR’S DAY: 7 Fridays
BEARS WINNING IT ALL: 13 Fridays
YOUR FUNERAL STREAMING BUYER’S GUIDE
Do you know what to look for when it comes to streaming for families?
You’re not simply choosing livestreaming technology and features. You’re deciding how your funeral home will care for guests who cannot attend in person.
Every funeral today has the potential for two rooms: your chapel and your online guests.
The right streaming solution should do more than deliver video. It should extend the care, connection, and meaningful experiences families expect for everyone attending—wherever they are that day.
Get practical tips on what to look for, questions to ask, and costly mistakes to avoid when choosing a funeral streaming partner.
[GET YOUR FREE STREAMING BUYER’S GUIDE]
Stop simply streaming. Start including every guest with Foveo.
Funeral Home Rehires Director It Fired in 2024 After Realizing He Was the Only One Who Knew All the Passwords
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Community members were shocked to see the return of veteran funeral director Kurt Kousins, just two years after he was fired from the very position he was rehired to fill this week.
“Listen, we thought we could run this place without him. We thought his big paycheck was draggin’ all of us down. Turns out, he wasn’t the problem, and he’s the only guy who knows the passwords to everything…” said funeral home owner Will F.
Community members were thrilled to hear the news and welcome Kurt back home.
As one local put it, “That funeral home didn’t know what they had when they had him. Sure, he never put on big, flashy services, but he was a consistent, steady hand who kept things running smoothly 80% of the time.”
When we asked Kurt about his return, he was a man of few words, saying only, “I knew they needed me back, and I’m happy to fill my old spot and turn this funeral home into a great franchise. You like that? Yeah, you like that!”
Funeral Director Reminds Community That Death Can Come at Any Time, But Preferably Not During Dancing with the Stars
COLUMBUS, OH — Local funeral director Gary Mitchell has spent the last several Tuesday nights praying for the health and safety of everyone in his community, or at least for their ability to hang on until Dancing with the Stars is over.
“It started with my wife. She wanted me to watch it with her, and I thought it was the dumbest thing in the world,” said Gary. “But then you start learning the dances, getting to know the contestants, and before you know it, you’re emotionally invested in an Instagram comedian’s ability to perform a Viennese waltz.”
“That Connor kid has something special. He’s got great energy, but I’d really like to see him work on his frame. You can’t win this competition on personality alone.”
According to Gary’s wife, his love for the show has gotten a little out of hand.
“He used to complain every time I turned it on. Now he’s got a whole routine. He makes popcorn, gets his blanket, and turns his phone volume all the way up just in case the funeral home calls. Last week, he made me rewind a dance three times because he disagreed with Derek Hough’s score.”
Employees at the funeral home have also noticed a change in Gary’s behavior, particularly in the way he gives feedback.
“He came up to me after a visitation and said, ‘First off, I just want to say you have grown SO much since week one. Your confidence is really starting to shine. But I need you to work on your transitions. There were a few moments where I felt like you lost your connection with the family. For me, it’s a seven,'” said one confused employee.
Despite his newfound obsession, Gary insists that his commitment to serving families remains his number one priority.
“Look, death doesn’t operate on a schedule. We all know that. But if everybody could just hold off between 8 and 10 on Tuesday nights, I’d really appreciate it.”
At press time, Gary was reportedly considering giving the funeral home’s newest apprentice a 9 for successfully backing the hearse into the garage without assistance.
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Your weekly dose of distraction.
Okay, this week I’m bringing you into my brain, and it’ll take a bout three hours of your time.
Today, I’m not just showing you a little video; I’m showing you the WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. But don’t worry, it’s free on YouTube.
Now, I almost don’t want to say too much about this. I would just say watch it and experience the chaos that is TROLL 2.
DISCLAIMER: you’re gonna wanna stop watching it at certain points. I say- PUSH THROUGH! This is certainly a waste of time, but it’s a waste of time that’ll bring a lot of laughs into your life.
THEN… you have to watch the documentary made about the movie several years later. It’s directed by the kid who starred in this epic masterpiece and it answers a lot of questions you’ll have while watching it.
AND. once again it’s a whole movie- but it’s free on Youtube. So check it out.
This will be the last non-holiday video for a while- so enjoy.
