Dramatic Funeral Home Marketing Effort | FFFW 231

Welcome to April! We’ve arrived at Spring, which is amazing, because Spring feels inherently better than winter. It’s a season of new beginnings and fresh starts, blooming flowers and green grass. If you ignore the horrid allergies that take away your ability to breathe, it’s almost heaven!

And we love new beginnings, but at the FFFW we’ll keep on doing the same thing: bringing satire, GIFs, and a handful of chuckles.

Let’s keep it rolling!

Save Your Funeral Livestreams Before Facebook Deletes Them on May 19th: https://facebook-crisis.memoryshare.com/

“The announcement that Facebook will delete live streams older than 30 days reveals a critical disconnect between platform policies and the reality of grief. Grief doesn’t follow a 30-day timeline. Our data shows 30% of funeral viewings happen after that 30-day window. For an average funeral home, that’s over 2,500 families annually who will seek comfort in a service recording only to find it gone. This should serve as a wake-up call for funeral professionals to invest in solutions where they maintain ownership and control of their content, rather than entrusting these precious memories to platforms with competing priorities.” – Shane White, CTO of MemoryShare

MemoryShare is here to help.

Funeral homes affected by these changes can schedule a call with MemoryShare to receive 3 months of unlimited streaming and recording. Their team will handle all training, transfer your existing videos, and provide a complimentary 20-minute training session for your staff. MemoryShare is committed to funeral homes and ensuring a smooth transition with zero disruption for the families you serve.

Call 469-983-4832 to learn more and meet with a MemoryShare professional who will guide you through the process. Mention Disrupt/Connecting Directors to claim a bonus gift!

Funeral Home Unveils Ambitious 2025 Strategy To Increase Font Size On General Price List

In a sweeping move set to redefine how the public interacts with printed death care materials, Bracken & Sons Funeral Home has officially announced its 2025 modernization initiative: a 2-point increase in the font size on its General Price List.

The announcement was made during the funeral home’s quarterly strategy meeting, where laminated mission statements were passed out and promptly ignored. According to leadership, the shift from 10-point to 12-point Times New Roman represents a bold step into the future.

“For years, we’ve heard feedback like ‘I can’t read this’ and ‘Is that a 5 or an 8?’” said Marketing Director Linda McShale. “This strategic enhancement will make our GPL not only easier to read, but also more emotionally accessible. We’re not just raising font sizes—we’re raising standards.”

The upgrade comes after months of internal discussion and a brief trial run involving Arial, which was quickly abandoned after being described by staff as “visually aggressive.”

Other initiatives discussed during the meeting included adding QR codes to laminated urn catalogs (“so people can scan something, even if it does nothing”) and introducing a new slogan: “Transparency, Dignity, Serif.”

Not all staff were convinced.

“I don’t know, it’s just… bigger letters?” said pre-need counselor Todd Kinsey. “We spent 90 minutes on this. I thought we were going to talk about AI or cremation trends, but then someone opened a Word doc and everyone just kind of clapped.”

In addition to the font change, the funeral home plans to implement a more “user-centric” design, which includes left-aligning bullet points and changing the color of section headers from charcoal gray to “slate-inspired blue.”

At press time, the revised price list was printing in the office, where it immediately jammed the paper tray and triggered a system-wide reboot.

Trivia

Choose the correct answer and you’ll see a puppy. Get it wrong and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.

Which of the following unusual materials has actually been used to manufacture a commercially available casket?

Answer Choices:
A) LEGO bricks
B) Banana leaves
C) Felted wool
D) Compressed dryer lint