Hot Funeral Debate Topics | FFFW 212

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.

Happy Friday, y’all! The election is now over! So, we can focus on the holidays and the awkward conversations about the election you’ll have at Thanksgiving!

Days until Thanksgiving: 20
Days until Christmas: 47
Days until New Years: 54
Days until the Chiefs win the Big Game: 93

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Funeral Topics to Debate Instead of Politics

The election is finally over, folks. We’ve all been through the wringer, and just in time for the holidays! But as everyone’s gearing up to gather around the table, we know it’s only a matter of time before someone sneaks in a political jab.

Let’s face it—at this point, we’re all a little tired of those debates. So, why not steer those family discussions toward some friendly funeral-focused arguments? Here are some hot topics that’ll keep everyone’s minds off the election, with just enough drama to keep things lively.

Border Security? Let’s Talk Burial Vaults.
If Uncle Jerry starts in on border walls and security, throw him a curveball: “Funny you mention that. I’ve been wondering which type of burial vault provides the best security for our loved ones’ eternal resting places.” Now you’ve got everyone weighing in on the pros and cons of metal vs. concrete vs. that fancy composite material that Aunt Sue saw on HGTV After Dark.

Economy? Alright, Who’s Up for a Burial vs. Cremation Price Debate?
“Oh, the economy, huh? Well, speaking of costs, what do we think is a fair price difference between a burial and a cremation these days?” The relatives will be deep into comparisons of caskets vs. urns before they realize what hit them. If you’re lucky, Cousin Billy might even whip out a spreadsheet he’s been dying to share on the subject.

Supply Chain Issues? Try Getting a Headstone on Time!
“Yeah, supply chain issues are a big deal. It’s like waiting on a headstone to be delivered—months go by, and suddenly, we’re in a real-life game of ‘Where in the World is My Granite Obelisk?’” This could lead to tales of custom orders, wild backlogs, and the time Grandma nearly threw down with a cemetery manager over a typo on her beloved pug’s memorial plaque.

Forget FDA-Approved Foods, Let’s Upgrade Funeral Cuisine
Let’s face it: we’ve all had enough of dry finger sandwiches and bland casseroles at post-service gatherings. So when someone’s ranting about the FDA, switch it up: “Wouldn’t it be great if we had funeral catering as gourmet as wedding catering?” Watch the crowd start brainstorming menus. “Why are we still on finger sandwiches when we could be having, I don’t know, mini sliders and tiramisu?”

Recession Got You Down? Time to Talk Preplanning!
If someone’s worried about finances, gently steer them toward the wise choice of preplanning: “Listen, in times like these, planning ahead just makes sense—especially with funerals.” Start casually throwing out the benefits of locking in today’s prices and saving loved ones the future hassle of funeral arrangements. “Think of it as securing your ‘spot’ and peace of mind before it’s a last-minute rush!”

With this trusty list in hand, you’ll have everyone debating what really matters: food that’s actually worth eating, reasonably priced farewells, and the age-old battle of concrete vs. metal. Happy holidays, and may your gatherings be as lively as your afterlives!

Trivia

On this day in 2020, Alex Trebek passed away. So, here’s a Jeopardy question in his honor.

“This British prime minister, whose funeral was attended by millions, famously said, ‘I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.’”

(Click the correct answer, and you’ll get a video of a puppy. Click the wrong answer, and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.)

Answer Choices:
A) Who is Winston Churchill
B) Who is Margaret Thatcher
C) Who is Neville Chamberlain