How to Write Better Obits | FFFW 122

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How to Write Better Obituaries: A Guide to Making the Deceased Sound Like a Rockstar

When it comes to writing obituaries, it’s important to remember one thing: no one wants to read about someone who lived a boring life. So, it’s time to spice things up a bit and turn your average Joe into a legendary hero. Here’s how to do it:

Exaggerate their accomplishments: If your deceased loved playing bingo at the senior center, turn it into “a world-renowned bingo champion.” If they enjoyed gardening, they are now a “botanist extraordinaire.”
Use creative adjectives: Instead of “kind,” use “benevolent.” Instead of “hardworking,” use “industrious.” The more descriptive words you use, the more interesting the obituary becomes.
Make them famous: Did your deceased have a special talent, such as playing the kazoo? Turn it into “a world-renowned kazoo virtuoso.” Make them sound like they should have their own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Mention their hobbies: Did they enjoy crocheting doilies? Well, now they’re a “master doily crafter.” Did they like to play chess? They are now a “chess grandmaster.”
Give them a nickname: Nicknames make people sound more interesting, so why not give your deceased a memorable moniker? How about “The Bingo King” or “The Crochet Queen”?
Don’t forget their enemies: Everyone loves a good feud, so why not include a mention of your deceased’s arch-nemesis? It could be something as simple as “always had a rivalry with their neighbor over the best tomato plants.”
Make them a hero: Did your deceased save a cat from a tree? Turn it into “risked their life to save a helpless kitten.” Did they help an elderly neighbor carry their groceries? They are now a “neighborhood hero.”

By following these simple steps, you’ll be sure to write an obituary that will have everyone talking for years to come. Remember, when it comes to obituaries, the more dramatic and over-the-top, the better.