Even MORE New Laws for Funeral Homes | FFFW 114

ENJOY Friday Funeral Fast Wrap Funeral Industry News December 2, 2022

Even MORE New Laws for Funeral Homes | FFFW 114

Welcome to December! This is one of my favorite months of the year, which is amazing because winter is my least favorite season. See, I’m always impressed with people from the North (like the real North) because they LOVE the winter. The cold thrills them, and they somehow drive better on snow-covered roads.

And then there are people from the South. They LOVE winter because it’s not really winter. November through February is just a break from gnats and a pit-sweat aesthetic. It’s cute how my friends from Georgia will button up fur coats when it’s 50 degrees out, “Oh my gosh, I saw a singular snowflake; this is so fun!”

See, I was born in SOUTHERN Ohio. It’s the middle child of American weather patterns. We have snow, but not as much as Chicago or Cleveland, so it doesn’t become our personality trait. 

And we have the humid summer days, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Florida. We get the worst of both hot and cold without delving into the extremes.
So all that to say, I don’t like winter, but I love Christmas and the holidays. So let’s start celebrating!

Fridays till Christmas: 3


ATTENTION: This is the BEST WAY to End the Year!

Want to hear how posting one video campaign generated $30k for this funeral director? 📈Join us on December 6, at 1PM EST to hear from Ryan Thogmartin (DISRUPT Media, Connecting Directors) and Adam Guthrie (Funeral Director and Owner) as they discuss the power of video content in 2023!

CLICK HERE TO RSVP!


SPONSORED BY: “Who Cares? It’s a Write-Off!”

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Laws That Should Exist for Funeral Homes

Right now, there’s a lot of chit-chat about the FTC and posting prices on your website and stuff. As you know, this is the FFFW, and we do our best to avoid the real issues. So, I’ve created legislation ideas that may unite us all or divide the whole profession.

1) Must Include Grief Dog on Staff Website.

Why? It’s cute. I get a little hit of dopamine when I see a Goldendoodle wearing a bow tie.

Penalty for not complying: Mandatory blacklight inspection of the removal van.



2) Must Have Jolly Ranchers Available.

I went to a funeral home that had these once- it was awesome.

Penalty for not complying: Death.


3) Must Have a Pet Name for the Hearse (Not Old Betsy)

Hearses are a vital piece to the image of a funeral home. Give her the respect she deserves and come up with a name. It’s also more fun.

Penalty for not complying: $10,000 fee (donated to the local competitor).


You Otter Be Proud

1) Survey Shows Value of Attending Funerals In Person
2) Veal Station Cemetery board secretary helps take care of family cemetery