Should Batesville Make a New Product? | FFFW #81

ENJOY Friday Funeral Fast Wrap Funeral Industry News Lighter Side April 8, 2022

Should Batesville Make a New Product? | FFFW #81

On this day, in 1879, New York City residents started buying milk in glass bottles. So, today take some time and raise a glass of lactose!

Next week, on April 12th, it will be “National Colorado Day.” So, how many funeral homes are in Colorado?

a) 265
b) 435
c) 635

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Will it Casket?

A couple of weeks ago, I went over several household items that could be turned into an urn if there were to be an urn shortage. So, today I want to go over some objects that could be turned into caskets if there were to be a casket shortage.

1) Refrigerator

Batesville should start just making fridges. These things are pining for a body. Also, they’re gonna get thrown in a landfill anyway- so you might as well dispose of a body while you’re at it.

2) Ship-lap

In 2015, Chip and Joanna had everyone covering their walls with various types of barn wood. Well, drywall is back in style and wood is expensive. If caskets disappeared tomorrow, I promise we could re-renovate some houses and use those wood chips to build a very charming body box.

3) Yeti Coolers

Every Summer these things get bigger and bigger. Though they started as a way to store a few beverages and snacks, they’ve turned into portable master-sized bathtubs. And trust me, they would preserve a body. At this point, I’m pretty sure they could preserve the core of the sun. Actually, why isn’t Yeti just making caskets?

So there you go. If you ever can’t find a casket- just reread this article.

You Otter Be Proud

Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect, and doing great things!
1) Angeleno Mortuaries, Inc. Affiliates with Anthem Partners

2) NFDA Launches New Member Assistance Program