Star Wars + Terrible Funeral Christmas Songs! | FFFW #64

ENJOY Friday Funeral Fast Wrap December 10, 2021

Star Wars + Terrible Funeral Christmas Songs! | FFFW #64


Today is a special day! On this day in 1971, Lucasfilms Ltd was founded. This was George Lucas’s production company that brought us many great films including the Indiana Jones movies, Star Wars, and Howard the Duck. 

Here’s something cool to think about though. Lucasfilms has had a lot of misses. A majority of Star Wars fans only like three of the nine movies, the fourth Indiana Jones movie is considered a flop, and most of the movies produced by Lucasfilms aren’t well-enough known to even name. 

But, that doesn’t mean Lucasfilms is unsuccessful. In fact, it’s so successful that it can have misses. They can take chances knowing that even if the project flops, they will have more success with future endeavors. So, if you try something and it fails, and you’re still around to try something else- you are actually quite successful!

Fridays left before Christmas: 2

Let’s go!


In the Star Wars universe, what means of disposition is used for Jedi? (click your answer)

a) Cremation
b) Sea Burial
c) Freezing


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We’re at that time in the Christmas season. More than likely, your funeral home has been playing a Christmas playlist or radio station for at least a week or two, and it’s time to have some opinions about it. Now, I LOVE Christmas music. Don’t get it twisted! But, I also LOVE chocolate, but when it ain’t good- it ain’t good. So, I’ve compiled the official FFFW list of terrible Christmas songs.

  1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen’s Version)

I enjoy some Springsteen, but if I could vanish his version of the Christmas classic- I would. Sorry, but I don’t want to hear Bruce drunkenly talk to his band for 5 minutes and then shout “Santa Clause is Coming to Town, YEAH YEAH YEAH” about 50x. Bruce, you’re still the boss, but this song has to go.

  1. Little Drummer Boy (Any Version)

You might think you like this song, but you don’t- you’ve just grown used to it. Society has told you that it’s harmless and classic, but society is wrong. “Pa Rum Pum Pum” isn’t a good enough line to be repeated millions of times throughout the month of December. It’s honestly just lazy writing. Here’s the whole song without that one line.

“Come they told me, A newborn king to see, Our finest gifts we bring, To lay before the king, So to honor him, When we come. Little baby, I am a poor boy too, I have no gift to bring, That’s fit to give our king, Shall I play for you, Mary nodded, The ox and lamb kept time, I played my drum for him, I played my best for him, Then he smiled at me, Me and my drum.”

I could spend all day diving into this, it doesn’t make sense! There’s a newborn baby and you’re destroying its eardrum with your drum on day one? The ox and lamb have rhythm? One of the wise men wasn’t willing to donate a little jangle so you don’t have to act all Nick Cannon-like in front of the newborn savior? It doesn’t make sense!!!!

  1. Santa Baby (Any Version)

It’s just odd and a little demeaning. Like, we’re talking to Santa, he’s a married man. You’re going behind his wife’s back and seducing the man in red just so you can get some nice presents? Like, how did this become a popular song? Who was the first person that was like, “Hey, you know, Santa is an admired elderly puffy man. What if I wrote a whole song asking for frivolous things in a way that’s somewhat seductively sung? That’ll be great!”

So, there you go. If you or your team has a Christmas playlist going on- just don’t add these songs. You and your sanity will thank me later!


Oh no!


Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect, and doing great things!

1) Revolutionizing Temporary Cremation Containers
2) ​​Philadelphia funeral homes will begin educating survivors about tangled property titles