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Home Community & Culture

The Best Way for Funeral Directors to Gamble | FFFW 137

Eli Gable by Eli Gable
July 29, 2025
in Community & Culture, Lighter Side
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DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.

Happy May 19th! Today is a day filled with excitement and anticipation as people around the world prepare to commemorate World Baking Day and International Museum Day. So, in case you wondered if there’s a more exciting day- there’s probably not. 

Let’s make the most of this day!


Homesteaders Makes it Rain?

What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.


Sometimes a friendly bet can make even the smallest of things more interesting. Here’s some bets only you and others in your field can make.

1. The “Graveyard Dash”: Betting on mourners racing to claim the front row seats at a funeral service.

2. The Stairmaster: when the removers pull up to a house or apartment complex, they each take a guess of exactly how many stairs there will be. Closest without going over wins.

3. The Long Lost: Will there or will there not be an estranged kid, cousin, or lover? Yes or no?

4. Jackets or Jorts: Will more suit jackets or jorts be at the calling hour? Examine the family and make your decisions.

5. Celebrity: Will the local celebrity use your funeral home or the competitor?

6. Weight lifters: How many of the pallbearers will say, “I didn’t realize this casket was THIS heavy.”


The 4 G’s (Goofs, Good News, and GIFy Goodness)

Goof of the day: Light-hearted funeral home commercial
Good News: ​​Platypuses Return to Sydney’s Royal National Park After Disappearing for Decades
GIFy Goodness: Ferret Levitates Briefly


You Otter Be Proud

1) Kelly Manion Named New Homesteaders Director of Consumer Marketing
2) Keohane Funeral Home Announces Free PLANT.GROW.SHARE. Gardening Workshops
3) Cemetery cleanup in McCandless uncovers forgotten past

Eli Gable
Eli Gable

Contributor covering funeral profession news, technology and the changing business of deathcare.

All posts by Eli Gable

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