DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.
Okay- it is officially the last issue of the FFFW until Thanksgiving. That means we are having our THANKSGIVING SPECIAL right now!
So, let’s embrace some gratitude and large portion sizes as we slide into the holiday season!
Days until Thanksgiving: 6
Days until Christmas: 33
Days until New Years: 40
Days until the Chiefs win the Big Game: 79
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How to get into the Thanksgiving Spirit
It feels like the holiday season has snuck up on us. If you’re like me, you may find it difficult to get your mind and heart into the joy of it all. Y’all have stressful jobs and I hope this can help.
Also, so many people jump into Christmas. And I get that, but I feel like Thanksgiving has a vibe that needs to be embraced a little more.
So here we go.
1) Search “Frozen Turkey Explosions” on YouTube and watch all the videos. You can start with this one. All across the country, fire departments do everything they can to show how dangerous deep frying a frozen turkey can be. The videos are awesome!
2) Grab a dry leaf from outside and crumble it in your hand. You’ll be amazed how good it feels. You’ve just held fall life in the palm of your hand.
3) Listen to “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.” This is THE vibe for the week. In the lingo of Gen-Z, Vince Guaraldi ATE and left NO crumbs with this soundtrack.
Here’s the Spotify link right here
4) Become knowledgeable on turkeys. Just reading the Wikipedia on these birds will set you up for a riveting dinner time convo come Thursday. You’ll probably grow a deeper appreciation for this winged creature you will soon devour with gravy.
5) Watch the 2008 Roofball championships. Wait, you don’t know what roofball is? That’s okay. Roofball is a neighborhood game that’s turned into a bit of a phenomenon on certain parts of the internet. But, everything about this low-budget broadcast SCREAMS fall. Honestly, I watch it, and I grow nostalgic for simpler times. And I’m a firm believer that a heavy dose of nostalgia is key for any holiday vibe.
6) Practice gratitude. I know, I know- this is the obvious one. But, thankfulness is kind of the whole point of the holiday. So, tell people how thankful you are for them. Thank God for the blessings He’s put into your life. Go to sleep pondering how, out of the billions of people in this world, you have a unique set of friends, colleagues, and family members that make your life what it is. I would say this is the most essential step. The exploding turkey is a VERY close second.
And hey, let me be the first to say- I’m thankful for you. As the only deathcare satirical/comedic blogger- I get to have one of the coolest jobs in the funeral profession because you keep on reading this. So, thank YOU!
Trivia
If funerals had to be held for every turkey that was consumed on Thanksgiving day- how many funerals would be held?
(AKA- how many turkeys are consumed in the USA on Thanksgiving?)
Click the correct answer, and you’ll get a video of a puppy. Click the wrong answer, and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.
Answer Choices:
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- Tribute Technology Launches the Inaugural Tech-Enabled Funeral Home Awards
- Old Lick Cemetery in Roanoke cleaned, repaired with help of national expert
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones
