DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.
Hope all of y’all that went to NFDA had a blast! Now we’re officially in the season where we all can say “Let’s circle back to that next year. Just have a lot going on with the holidays coming up.”
It’s been a long year. So congrats, we’ve earned this.
Homesteaders Makes it Rain?
What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.
SC Johnson Enters Funeral Profession With New Urn
NOTE: Remember what we said about enjoying the satire?
“We’re excited to enter the deathcare space and fill a hole in the market with our ‘Ziploc Urn.’ In the modern landscape we think people are tired of the traditional boxy or vase-looking products, and our latest offering is anything but that. It’s transparent, it’s durable, it’s lightweight, and it comes from our trusted ‘Ziploc’ brand.” – SC Johnson Representative
That’s how it was announced last week by SC Johnson that they’re beginning to sell an urn. While the company boasts enthusiasm, and certain test groups gave raving reviews, certain product testers have less than stellar opinions on it.
“This ain’t an urn. It’s just a Ziploc bag. They’re not changing the branding on it. You could save yourself a few bucks and just recycle your sandwich bag. There’s literally no difference.” – Bill Falwell
While the new urn does look exactly like trusted food storage utility, SC Johnson is firm on their stance that the two are separate products.
“Hey Bill, can’t you read? One product says ‘urn’ on it and the other doesn’t. We can’t just call something that’s not an urn and urn. Sure, could you probably, in a pinch, use one of our urns in a sack-lunch? Well sure. And is it made in the factory as our bags- well yeah, a lot of things are. But your friends are gonna look at you like a real dummy when they see you taking chips out of an ash container.” – Same SC Johnson Representative (just in a Boston accent)
Many have asked if this new urn is only meant for scattering. But the company has made “house display” one of the pillars in the launch campaign.
“This is goofy. I can’t even imagine what would happen if I told my wife that I was going to be displaying my dear Nana in a transparent Ziploc bag on our china cabinet. She’d have a cow.” – Bill Falwell (also in a Boston accent to match intensity)
Will it succeed? I guess the market will decide. On one hand it seems innovative and cutting edge, but on the other hand, I’m pretty sure it’s just a Ziploc bag.
About that satire . . . While we know Ziploc bags can securely seal in pretty much anything, including those unidentifiable three-month-old leftovers that have taken up residence in your office’s shared fridge, we’re definitely not endorsing them for use as urns — and neither is the *real* SC Johnson!
GIF of the Week
You Otter Be Proud
- NFDA Endorses Foresight and Johnson Consulting Group for Business Consultation and Succession Planning Services
- Hard-working 90-year-old comforts others in need
- Drone helps ‘adventurous’ 93-year-old ‘go out in style’
