DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.
Y’all! IDK about you but I’m feeling so good rn. The weather is perfect, Kirk Cousins just signed a great deal, and I just tried Taco Bell’s “Double Berry Freeze.”
If you’re not feeling great then that’s okay too (but I would recommend the Double Berry Freeze). We’re here to share some GIFs, goats, and goodness.
“Wait, goats?” ~ you (probably)
That’s right. We’ve put three goats in this week’s FFFW just for you.
Let’s go!
3 Reasons Livestreaming Funerals on Facebook is Problematic
1) Aunt Nancy is going to use the “mad” instead of the “care” emoji and this will lead people to believe there’s some family drama going on.
2) “Go Rest High On That Mountain” gets your page flagged. Then when people rewatch the services there’s just silence for giant chunks at a time.
3) It legally* gives Mark Zuckerberg the rights to your families’ souls and eternal destinations.
FORTUNATELY THERE’S ANOTHER WAY
MemoryShare allows you to stream and keep your services inside of your obits.
Also, Facebook Live videos don’t appear in Google Search. This means going live on Facebook does not help you reach more people organically. MemoryShare improves SEO and increases leads and traffic to your website.
See how they helped Stevens Funeral Home increase monthly call volume.
*this point is actually misinformation
Learn more about what they do here!
What Each Character of “The Office” Would Choose for Their Funeral?
Pam Beasley
Artistic Celebration: Pam would want her funeral to be a celebration of life, filled with color and art. Her request would be for everyone to paint or draw something that reminds them of her, creating a vibrant, communal art piece. Traditional burial.
Stanley
Direct cremation.
Jim Halpert
Fun Goodbye: Jim’s funeral would be light-hearted and filled with inside jokes, designed to make everyone laugh rather than cry. He’d probably have pre-recorded messages popping up at unexpected moments during the service, each one revealing a never-before-seen heartfelt message to his loved ones.
Creed Bratton
No funeral. No obit. Unmarked grave.
Dwight Schrute
Traditional Schrute Funeral: True to his roots, Dwight would opt for a traditional Schrute funeral on the family farm. This would involve an elaborate Pennsylvania Dutch ceremony, complete with a horse-drawn carriage, a gravesite in the beet fields, and possibly a bizarre, ancient Schrute ritual to honor his warrior spirit.
Michael Scott
Grand Farewell: Michael would undoubtedly want a grand, over-the-top funeral service, complete with a video montage of his best moments (both real and imagined). There’d be a mandatory viewing of “Threat Level Midnight” for all attendees, and he’d request a heartfelt, improvised eulogy from each of his employees, believing himself to be the “World’s Best Boss” even in memoriam.
Trivia
Get it right and you’ll see a goat. Get it wrong and you’ll get a pie in the face.
Which city hosted the first NFDA?
A) Syracuse, NY
B) Rochester, NY
C) Allentown, PA
Here’s another goat.
You Otter Be Proud
Here are some good things going on in the profession.
- Nick Gerhart Appointed Homesteaders COO
- Funeral director says preplanning helps families at a time of loss
- Rockland County moves to improve, restore several abandoned cemeteries
