DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.
Welcome to the FINAL 2024 OCTOBER EDITION of the FFFW!
I really can’t believe how fast this month has gone by.
Next time we meet it’ll be November, which is the official kick-off for Christmas around here.
But, this week, we’ll start our little countdowns!
Days until Election: 10
Days until Thanksgiving: 34
Days until Christmas: 61
Days we’re promised: 0 – so let’s make the most out of this one!
Better live streaming for your families
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All you have to do is schedule a stream, share links with friends and family, and go live using your mobile phone! The best part? Your stream and recording are hosted directly on your obituary.
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Cemetery Ghosts Claim “People Are Dying to Get In There” Joke is Getting Old
In a surprise press conference held last night at the Resting Pines Cemetery (under a foggy full moon, no less), several resident ghosts voiced their collective grievance with a joke they say has long overstayed its welcome: “People are just dying to get in here.”
The complaint, filed by The Spirits’ Union of Resting Pines (SURP), represents a coalition of tombstone-dwelling specters, spooky shadows, and wandering wraiths who claim the joke is not only stale but “spiritually draining.” Several ghosts report they hear the phrase multiple times a day, usually delivered by teenagers on dares, local “ghost hunters,” and just about every wannabe stand-up comedian who’s ever visited.
“It’s so exhausting,” sighed Ethel “The Ghastly Granny” Hughes, a spectral resident since 1902. “Every night, you hear someone chuckling their way past the iron gates, thinking they’re the first person ever to make that joke. We’ve been dead for decades—trust us, we’ve heard it.”
Trivia
Which celebrity had their funeral on Halloween?
(Click the correct answer, and you’ll get a video of a puppy. Click the wrong answer, and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.)
Answer Choices:
A) Harry Houdini
B) Frank Sinatra
C) Rodney Dangerfield
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- Why is it important to have a funeral director?
- Old Lick Cemetery in Roanoke cleaned, repaired with help of national expert
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones
