Funeral Home RIZZ | FFFW 185

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.

Happy Friday! The weather is finally beautiful and we’re happy about that. Let’s kick this weekend off the right way with a GIF of a goat!

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Best Funeral Pick-Up Lines

1. “I must admit, your smile could wake the dearly departed.”
2. “Are you a eulogy? Because you’re beautifully composed.”
3. “I handle final arrangements for a living, but meeting you has given me a new lease on life.”
4. “Do you believe in life after love? Let’s find out together.”
5. “I’m used to somber occasions, but seeing you has brightened my day.”
6. “Is your heart in need of some care? Because I’m very good at handling delicate things.”
7. “Even in the darkest times, you light up my life.”
8. “Our job is all about timing, and I think it’s the perfect time for us to meet.”
9. “If love is a journey, I’d be honored to walk you all the way to the end.”
10. “You must be an angel, because only heaven could send someone as special as you into my life.”

Trivia

Get it right and you’ll see a puppy. Get it wrong and you’ll see people accidentally hurting themselves.

Which celebrity used to work for a cemetery?

A) Steve Buscemi

B) Jeff Goldblum

C) Dana White

You Otter Be Proud

Here are some good things going on in the profession.

1. Arizona is Latest State to Legalize Natural Organic Reduction
2. Horse-Drawn Carriage Helps Those Grieving
3. Springfield Memorial Gardens to Honor Oregon’s Fallen Heroes