We’re officially deep into August now, and honestly? It’s treating us pretty well. The sun’s still hanging around, the heat’s taking occasional coffee breaks, and there’s just enough breeze to make you think, “Yeah… I could sit outside for a bit.”
Let’s ride that late-summer energy straight into the weekend with this week’s FFFW!
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Local Funeral Director Claims New Suit Is “Charcoal Gray,” Everyone Else Agrees It’s Definitely Blue
Tensions ran high at Mercy Hollow Funeral Home this week after longtime director Steve Daniels arrived wearing what he proudly described as his “new charcoal gray suit.”
“It’s classic, it’s understated, it says respect,” Steve told reporters while straightening the lapels. “The tag literally said ‘charcoal.’”
Unfortunately, not a single staff member agreed. “That thing’s blue,” said embalmer Carla Jenkins without hesitation. “It’s not even a close call. If you buried me in that, I’d haunt you.”
Even guests at Wednesday’s visitation weighed in. “It’s giving navy,” one mourner whispered to another. “Like, a deep navy, but still navy.”
Steve has doubled down, citing “funeral home lighting” and “fabric undertones” as the real culprit. “Look, I know what gray is,” he insisted, moments before walking past a casket spray and perfectly matching the hydrangeas.
As of press time, the suit has been moved to the back of Steve’s closet, where it reportedly sits between a “black” tuxedo that’s clearly purple and a “tan” blazer that everyone else calls “banana.”
Trivia
Choose the correct answer and you’ll see a puppy. Get it wrong and you’ll see someone hurting themselves.
If you lined up every casket sold in the U.S. in a single year, end to end, about how far would the line stretch?
A) From New York City to Los Angeles
B) From New York City to Los Angeles and back again
C) Around the Earth once
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- This Milford nonprofit helps families with high funeral costs
- People Magazine Covers Funeral Profession Story
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones
