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Home Community & Culture

Best Funeral Foods RANKED | FFFW 151

Eli Gable by Eli Gable
July 29, 2025
in Community & Culture, Friday Funeral Fast Wrap, Lighter Side
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https://www.facebook.com/disruptmg/https://il.linkedin.com/company/disrupt-media

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.

Fridays are the best day of the week for sure. Here’s how all the days rank.

1) Fridays
2) Sundays
3) Saturdays
4) Mondays
5) Wednesdays
6) Thursdays
7) Tuesdays

But this Monday ranks a little higher since it’s Labor Day . . . AKA the kick-off to fall. So enjoy the weekend and find some time to chill if you can!


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Funeral Foods- Ranked

I know I already made one list today, but I’m in a listy mood. So here’s the FFFW’s official list of funeral foods.

5) Fried Chicken – Yes, it’s good. But, I don’t need greasy hands if I’m crying. That’s too many points of moisture on my body. So for that reason, it’s at the bottom of the list.

4) Casseroles – I like a casserole. In fact, if I trust the person who made it, a good casserole could be top 3. Most of the time I don’t know who made it at a funeral and therefore I don’t touch it. For that reason, it’s one step from last place.

3) Finger Sandwiches – These are fantastic. Clean, easy, and universal. They’re normally too small though. Can I have something just a little bigger? Give me a hand sandwich. Let it actually provide some nutrients to my body.

2) Cookies – Can’t go wrong with these. They taste great and are simple. My problem is I eat a thousand of them. Then I’m bloated AND sad. You can be one or the other, but you should never be both.

1) Funeral potatoes – It’s not even close. This is the only food with “funeral” in the name. For that reason, the spuds are taking home gold.


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Eli Gable
Eli Gable

Contributor covering funeral profession news, technology and the changing business of deathcare.

All posts by Eli Gable

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