DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.
This is our last October edition of 2023. Next time we meet, we’ll start covering all things Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, that means this week should be our “Halloween” edition. Now, growing up I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween so I don’t know much about it. I do, however, understand a lot about candy. So, instead of talking about things I don’t understand- we’re going to have a “sweet” time.
Welcome to the 2023 Candy Special.
Fridays left til Christmas: 8
Homesteaders Makes it Rain?
What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.
Best Candy to Have on Your Desk
Everyone likes having a little bowl of candy on the workstation. Sometimes when things are slow, that little sugar rush gives you just enough motivation to keep going. Desk candy also served the important role of being a “talking excuse” between co-workers. So, here at the FFFW we applaud the table treats.
Here’s our official ranking:
10) Tootsie Rolls | You’re basically chewing chocolate-flavored plastic.
9) Tootsie Pops | Same thing but you have to work harder to get here.
8) Laffy Taffy | You’re basically chewing fruit-flavored plastic.
7) Smarties | A solid candy, but you have to decide if you want to eat one at a time or all at once.
6) Jolly Rancher | The best flavor but it ruins your teeth.
5) Standard Mint | Nothing wrong with it at all … it’s just not exciting.
4) Dum-Dums | Fantastic! The only con is you have to spit out the stick.
3) Werthers | A hug for your taste buds. Feels like grandma’s home.
2) Fun-Sized Chocolate Bars | Chocolate is an amazing thing.
1) Starburst | Like Laffy Taffy except it’s amazing. 10/10.
GIF Of The Week
You Otter Be Proud
- Everstory Partners, a Leading Deathcare Company, to Manage 84 Additional Cemeteries and Funeral Homes
- Daughters of the American Revolution work to restore historic Chester cemetery
- Wichita funeral home’s therapy dog comforts in a way no human can
