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Home Community & Culture

BATESVILLE PUMPKINS? | FFFW #58

Eli Gable by Eli Gable
July 29, 2025
in Community & Culture, Friday Funeral Fast Wrap, Lighter Side
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https://www.facebook.com/disruptmg/https://il.linkedin.com/company/disrupt-media

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Y’all, it is time for Halloween! Many communities will be trick-or-treating this weekend, while you’ll be getting several comments about how every day is spooky for you as a funeral director from your friends and family. 
Now, here’s a fun fact for you. I was raised in a household where this occasion wasn’t celebrated, so I don’t know much about it. However, I have discovered that it and the FFFW have some similarities.

1) We’re both a little goofy
2) We both deal with death
3) We both provide little treats

Here’s treat numero uno for you!

GAME TIME!

The average Batesville metal casket weighs 217 lbs. How many Batesville caskets would it take to weigh more than the world’s largest pumpkin?

a)  6
b)  9.5
c) 13

100,000 WHAT?

100,000 of anything is a lot.  

  • 100,000 seconds is equal to 27.7 hours. 
  • 100,000 days is equal to 273.9 years.
  • 100,000 miles is equal to the length of the USA (coast to coast) 33 times over.

So, that’s why it’s awesome when we tell you that Parting Pro’s funeral homes have had over 100,000 families use their online arranger. That’s proof that it works, and it works well! They have a mission to skyrocket your cremation business without forcing you to hire any new employees. See for yourself how Parting Pro can work for you!

“The biggest innovation in deathcare in the past decade or two.”

SPOOKIEST FUNERAL STORIES

99% of the time, I want to stay away from the morbid side of the funeral profession. That being said, this is the one day a year I will dive into the creepy and have a little spooky fun. So, I combed the internet for the best/Halloween-ish funeral director stories. These are from Reddit, so I can’t confirm how true they are. But, I can’t prove they’re false either. So, just enjoy these antidotes and take them for what they are.

1) From a deleted account on Reddit.

“Uncomfortable? Being trapped in the morgue alone during a hurricane, our morgue was basically in a basement type situation and the hospital was near a main waterway that flooded…I had to move all the bodies to the highest cabinets, pray the generators would keep everyone cold and was standing on my desk for about 2 hours when someone finally came for me.”

2) From username: tlebrad on Reddit

“I work in the industry. The creepiest thing I have seen/had would be one of my first ‘ pick-ups’. There was a humidifier in the room, but I didn’t know about it. I thought the deceased was still alive and wheezing.”

3) From username: Bripirate on Reddit

“My dad was a funeral director/embalmer. He picked up a body from a nursing home, and when he went to make the incision the lady moaned and blood started coming out of the incision. He called the nursing home who apparently made a mistake. They sent the ambulance to the funeral home and took her back to the nursing home where she actually expired a few hours later. Never seen Pop so freaked out.”

Creepy, right?

COMIC OF THE WEEK

The old “I’m a funeral director” costume.

YOU OTTER BE PROUD

Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect, and doing great things!
1) ​​Carla Harvey, Grief Counselor and Heavy Metal Star
2) ​​Lafayette funeral home hosting events for All Saints Day, Veterans Day

Eli Gable
Eli Gable

Contributor covering funeral profession news, technology and the changing business of deathcare.

All posts by Eli Gable

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