DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.
Hey hey hey! It is Friday. And if you’re right here, you’re in the right place. At the FFFW we know your week can get away, and leave you with a lot of aches, but that doesn’t have to escalate because these GIFs and jokes are here to relieve your pain. Does that sound insane? I guess I’ll just say what I’m trying to say, I’ll make it simple and I’ll keep it plain.
Your week might’ve been rough, with no time for games, but we’re here to keep today from being the same.
This whole intro rhymed until right now. Let’s have a good one, y’all!
Homesteaders Makes it Rain?
What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.
Funeral Directors Should Wrestle Yearly
So, unfortunately, all business comes with a little bit of drama. Why? Well, business involves people and people are dramatic. This can lead to family feuds, bitterness, and lawsuits.
But I have a solution:
Hear me out on this one. And let’s remember that for years and years people settled actual arguments with actual gun duels. So, when compared to that, this isn’t all that insane.
So…
As the title of this article suggests, I firmly believe that funeral directors (and all funeral professionals) should wrestle with each other over their qualms and disagreements on both petty and legal matters. This should be overseen by one of the yearly conventions and along with settling the cases.
Let’s look at the benefits of this real quick:
- Funeral professionals would be incentivized to stay in good health in case they’re challenged.
- There has to be a way to raise money for charity off of this.
- It keeps the weak away from the profession.
- The “purge effect” might have some validity to it.
- Sometimes medical bills are cheaper than legal fees.
As I said, this would be open to all funeral professionals. So, if I’ve ever offended you or your company (and trust me, there have been some incidents) then you can challenge me. But if you can’t physically dominate me you will be mocked on what would be my favorite yearly issue of the FFFW: “The Fightlights” (like highlights but about fighting).
You Otter Be Proud
- NFDA Celebrates Members for Excellence in Service to Families and Communities
- Ellison expanding career and funeral home
- Jason Harrell is new president of Texas Funeral Directors Association
