Toilet Paper Caskets & Horrific Eulogies | 4M #174

Welcome to the hundred-and-seventy-fourth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #174, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

The what market?

It’s the market research that we never knew we needed — the demand for something called a “disposable cremation toilet paper casket.” You’re welcome to investigate this apparently fast-growing market (which “is anticipated to grow at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 15.05% between 2024 and 2031! The market is expected to grow to USD 5.68 Billion by 2024!”) for your own personal investment education, and let us know when you reach your first million.

Lucky #13

Utah could become the 13th state to offer natural organic reduction if a recently-reintroduced bill makes it all the way to the Governor’s desk. Senator Jen Plumb, who is sponsoring the bill, hopes that it has better luck than a similar initiative that died in the 2024 session when it was “met with opposition,” because, as she says, “Talking about death is uncomfortable.”

Interesting interpretation

A Memphis, Tennessee man was arrested last week for breaking into his mother’s home, stealing a $10 hat, and … flushing the cremains of his brother down the toilet. The charges were aggravated burglary and abuse of a corpse, which might make one consider exactly what constitutes a “corpse” in this case. This guy absolutely needs to be punished for this heinous and disrespectful act against his family, but isn’t this an interesting interpretation of the term?

No eulogy for you

Fun fact: The Catholic funeral mass does not traditionally include a eulogy because “the focus of the mass isn’t supposed to be about the life of the deceased,” according to Father Toomey, a parish priest in Waterford, Ireland. However, as this secular element has slowly made its way into more and more masses in varying lengths and formats, Father Toomey is now calling for a strict uniform policy across the country’s 26 dioceses that limits eulogies to 50 minutes across the board. Father Toomey’s call for guidance stems from the “horror stories” he’s heard about eulogies that have been “inappropriate for the church.”