Coffin Cocaine & Christmas Easter Eggs | 4M #170

Welcome to the hundred-and-seventieth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #170, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Another kind of niche

Forbes recently featured five “hidden market niche ideas” for entrepreneurs that “could potentially be worth millions,” and deathcare made the list! Eco-friendly burial services were included with pet wellness services, senior rehabilitation services, DIY repair kits, and mental health support for entrepreneurs. 

Smiles & Sharpies

A British funeral home owner is winning all kinds of awards for her not-so-conventional approach to deathcare. Neon-pink-haired Kate Moran, “The Smiley Celebrant,” allows only two services per day at her venue to allow families more time for bespoke goodbyes. Also, she keeps toys in the memorial space for kids and plenty of Sharpies on hand so visitors can write their good-bye messages or draw pictures on the casket. Her efforts to personalize services have earned Kate a Yearly Achievement Award, an award from Good Funeral Awards, and three nominations for Celebrant of the Year. 

So sus

When Dutch authorities pulled over a 30-year-old Frenchman for “suspicious driving behavior” last week, they found two coffins within his van. The driver said the coffins contained bodies, but couldn’t produce the paperwork, so the coffins were taken to a local funeral home. When they were opened, there were no bodies inside. Instead, authorities found duffel bags full of lots and lots of cocaine. Surprise!

Ho-ho-horror

Move over, Die Hard. A new film is attempting to inspire those oh-so-fun is-it-or-isn’t-it-a-holiday-movie debates. Lily-Rose Depp, star of the upcoming Nosferatu remake, recently claimed that the vampire flick is indeed a Christmas movie — and it’s not just because it’s being released on December 25. “There are a couple Christmas-y Easter eggs in there, so I feel like if you watch it on Christmas, you’ll feel in tune, you’ll feel like they’re in the same time as you,” she told Entertainment Tonight. “And, you know, there’s snow! It gets pretty cold. Who doesn’t love to think about death and the realm of the dead on Christmas Day?” 

Hope after Helene

Families in Augusta, Georgia, are getting antsy after three months of being denied access to three city-owned cemeteries. In late September, winds from Hurricane Helene toppled trees within all three properties, wreaking havoc on the grounds and gravestones. City officials have struggled to overcome clean-up roadblocks, like unearthed root balls that have to be inspected by archaeologists before they can be removed, and the fact that only light equipment and small vehicles can be safely used within the spaces. Those same officials, though, understand families’ frustrations, and hope they can offer scheduled, escorted visits very soon.

We still love Lucy

Did you know that Lucille Ball didn’t think she was “naturally” funny? During a recently-recounted conversation with a publicist who chauffeured her in the 70s, Lucy confided that she thought it was the material written for her that made people laugh. However, she thought another star — who wasn’t necessarily known for her humor — was truly hilarious. She told the publicist, “Judy Garland was the most naturally funny woman in Hollywood. In fact, Judy Garland made me look like a mortician.” Ouch.