Jeff Goldblum Needs to Help Funeral Homes | FFFW #72

ENJOY Friday Funeral Fast Wrap February 4, 2022

Jeff Goldblum Needs to Help Funeral Homes | FFFW #72

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FACEBOOK

On this day in 2004, Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook from his Harvard dorm room. As someone who works almost exclusively in the digital media field, this day is kind of a holiday. It’s like a modern St. Nick story. However, instead of leaving coins in stockings, Mark Zuckerburg gifted me, my colleagues, and Russian liars a path towards a career. Happy Facebook Day!

GAME TIME!

What is the death year on the oldest known carved headstone?

a) 1697
b) 1597
c) 1761

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Let’s go get that coconut!

MY FUNERAL REALITY TV SHOW IDEAS

Connecting Directors put out an article covering some controversies that have surrounded past funeral reality tv shows. You can read that here. Now, these shows are entertaining, but none of them have made their way into the zeitgeist of pop culture. So, I came up with a few ideas that I think could really do well. I’m talking like the Kelly Clarkson season of American Idol’s level of popularity. These could usher in a whole new renaissance of cable/network television.

  1. Celebrity Funeral Director (Starring Jeff Goldblum)

    Think of the apprentice but only funeral stuff and instead of having multiple celebrities, we have the one ultimate celebrity- Jeff Goldblum. The everyday task of a death-care professional carried out and documented by the Jurassic classic himself.
  2. Funeral Home Improvement (Hosted by the Property Brothers + Jeff Goldblum)

    This is your standard HGTV show, but we’re focusing on your local funeral home. With the expertise of the property brothers mixing with the pure charisma of Mr.Goldblum, this would be a modern classic!

True Crime: Funeral Edition

Unfortunately, there’s lots of unfortunate news with funeral homes. We just gotta be real. Obviously each week I try to bring the best news in the funeral world to the forefront- so this would be like the opposite FFFW. But, people love true crime and the word “funeral” just makes it that much more eye-grabbing. Now, we just need a FANTASTIC host. No, not someone who’s always witty and charismatic- we need someone people can trust to guide them through these murky waters. We need someone who can handle difficult topics. We need someone like… I got it- Jeff Goldblum!

COMIC OF THE WEEK

You gotta do what you gotta do.

YOU OTTER BE PROUD

Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral things getting respect, and doing great things!

1) Batesville Announces 2022 Education Series Webinars for Funeral Professionals

2) Kansas couple helps people grieve by supplying a hand-crafted casket