The Debate + Tesla + Will Smith = A Good Friday? | Friday Funeral Fast Wrap #8

POLITICS

Did you miss last night’s debate? Have some staunch opinions? Well guess what, WE DON’T CARE! Actually, this is being written on Thursday (I know, everything is fake), and it hasn’t even aired yet. But, if it goes/went anything like every other political forum, you need some relief. So, here’s a cute GIF of a puppy to cleanse your mind and start your weekend off right!

Cool Places to Scatter Ashes

This week, CD posted an article about some new options people have for outdoor memorials. Honestly, it’s really cool stuff. Included in the article is an app that allows you to track where you’ve scattered ashes. That got me thinking, “With no limitations, where are the coolest places people could have ashes scattered?” Here’s what I came up with.

1) The Fresh Prince Mansion. Will Smith and “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” are by far two of the most objectively cool things to exist in the world we live in. Plus, we’ve all wanted to live in that amazing mansion that they always pan by during the show. So, having ashes there would be the most awesome thing you could do post-living.

2) Cracker Barrel Decoration. This is more of a challenge than anything. We all know that Cracker Barrels are full of old fake antiques and that they almost never change. So, if you’re looking for a place to leave your urn where it will be admired and protected – I say hang it from the wall or ceiling of your local CB.

3) The Space Roadster. I know people have launched ashes into orbit before, and I know people have been buried in their favorite cars. But, in 2018 SpaceX launched a Tesla Roadster (easily the coolest EV ever) into orbit. So, if somehow you can fly ashes in a rocket and place them in there – that would be amazing.

CRUSH SOCIAL MEDIA AS A FUNERAL HOME

(SPONSORED)

Funeral homes and any death-care business NEED a good social media presence. This isn’t always as easy as it seems. BUT… if you’re looking for an easy way to get some likes on your page, we have you covered!

Top 3 Things that are social media gold.

1) Babies. People love babies. They’re chunky, they’re small, and they just randomly stare at people a lot. That being said, if you see a picture of a baby on social media and you DON’T engage with it – you actually are a bad person. Like no joke. Well, kind of no joke.

2) Puppies. These are like babies with more fur and less questioning about its parents being “ready yet.” I like puppies, you like puppies, and we all like to LIKE puppies on social media.

3) Puppies and Babies. That’s right; it’s not rocket science. Babies do good, puppies do good, you combine them, and you get something simply amazing! This is like french fries dipped in a Wendy’s Frosty; it’s simply a combo that is almost too good to be true!

Now, these three types of content are fantastic, but if you want a social media strategy that REALLY works for you and your funeral home – you need to do a little more than that. You need DISRUPT Media.

DISRUPT Media understands that creative/digital marketing can seem complicated and can be confusing. They take care of all the stressful stuff and make social media simple for you. With years of experience and proven strategies, they know how to use social media to gain leads, build awareness, and grow your business!

Click here to learn more!

Watch this whole GIF for a satisfying ending!

WANT AN AD IN FFFW LIKE THIS? JUST SHOOT RYAN AN EMAIL AT RYAN@DISRUPTMEDIA.CO WE’LL WRITE UP AN ARTICLE AND MAKE A CUSTOM GIF!

Two Million Dollar Funeral

In another CD article this week, it was reported that a government official in Japan had a 1.8 million dollar funeral. That obviously is a ton of money, like a lot a lot. Think about it like this: if someone with a salary of 50k a year saved up every penny that had from every check, it would take them 36 years to make that much money… that’s a LOT!

By now you should know that I have an imagination and a love for the hypothetical. So here’s the situation going on in my head. “What if I had a funeral policy for 1.8 million, and every last dollar of it had to go towards a funeral/life celebration? How would I spend it?”

10k – basic services. Non-declinable + service charges so everything can go smooth.

100k – Coffin. That’s right, I want a coffin, not the standard casket. Half of this budget goes towards the carpenter that will be making one custom for me. “Hey FFFW person, you know that 100k is like a lot for a coffin, right?” – Someone. Yes, I do know that. But, I’m not buying some pre-built coffin, or paying some Joe Schmoe to make it. I want this whole project to be designed and built by Property Brother, Jonathan Scott. Hopefully 100 Gs plus and the publicity of making a coffin for a fan would be enough for him to do it.

300k – Disneyland. Rumor has it, Disney will rent out small parts of this park for around this price. Heck of a place to have a wake.

1 mil – Will Smith. I’m a fan. A big one. According to google, he’ll show to speak for a million. I can’t pass-up the opportunity for The Fresh Prince to read my eulogy.

Current total – 1,410,000.

390k left. Let’s go.

300k – Backstreet Boys. The boys are back and according to a couple booking websites, I can get them to perform for less than half a mill.

90k – Anything I’m missing. I’m kinda free-styling this stuff rn. I’m sure there are some obvious costs I’m missing. So, this is for that.

Will Smith, the Boys, custom coffin, and Disney all for a little less than 2 mil? Sounds pretty good to me!

YOU OTTER BE PROUD

Let’s be honest, our profession gets a lot of negative press, so we’ve searched the internet to find stories of funeral homes getting respect and doing great things!