Funeral Industry News

Wanna Go Out In A Tank Hearse?

October 8, 2013

We believe that every funeral director should have the tools to succeed. With the help of our field-leading partners, we publish daily funeral industry news and provide free tools to help our readers advance their careers and grow their businesses. Our editorial focus on the future, covering impact-conscious funeral care, trends, tech, marketing, and exploring how today's funeral news affects your future.

Wanna Go Out In A Tank Hearse?

The TANKHEARSE is a real thing…you just have to be in the United Kingdom to use it.

Then my thoughts drifted to the big day when I meet my maker. What I want my funeral to be like? First thing is that my final trip has got to be in a Tank. One thought led to another and TANKHEARSE was started. No great rush I’m feeling fit as a fiddle.

The project chugged along steadily mostly between important jobs; better not to work myself to death, especially before the project is finished. Then suddenly I had a phone call telling me an older tank mad instructor was very ill in hospital. I visited him that night and things looked so bad on return I walked straight in to the workshops and carried on till the early hours and up early the next morning cutting away. TANKHEARSE was now high priority. Sure enough my worst fears came true and my old friend was dead within two days. Still I carried on flat out thinking, if it’s not quite finished he would have understood and a turret and glass missing won’t make much difference, but at least it should be black for the funeral.

Then I heard through the grape vine that the funeral was set for two weeks. You can get a lot done in a fortnight if you pull your socks up and take your watch off. Everything just came together. I found a very clean turret and the sand blaster finished it the very same day. An elusive polish friend who owed me money came out of the woodwork asking if he could work it off, and a clever Jimbo started sorting an electrical birds nest.

Hey presto! The beast was born.

The funeral went well TANKHEARSE was very well received. My old mate Big Graham was rolled out of a Rolls Royce hearse and in to TANKHEARSEwhich I was chuffed about. I pray he was to. The undertaker even asked if I fancied a hearse trade, and I think he was serious.

So TANKHEARSE is now ready for action, just for the trip to the church, we’re not undertakers just tankie people, so you will still need the experts

Who is it for? Anyone who wants it. Tank nuts mostly I guess, but that remains to be seen and of course yours truly. It just worries me who will be in the driving seat, Wayne, Crazy Camo, Susie, Andy. Just as long as it’s not Tim I’ve seen his driving.

Read more about the tank hearse here: