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Home Community & Culture

Why Funeral Service Missed the Boat, and Keeps Missing the Conversation

Ryan Thogmartin by Ryan Thogmartin
October 22, 2025
in Community & Culture, Professional Guidance & Resources
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Last month we published an article about The Conversation Project.

Recently founded by Boston Globe columnist, Ellen Goodman and former Medicare chief, Dr. Don Berwick, its goal is to get people talking about their end-of-life wishes.

The public awareness campaign brings up some interesting points, such as this one: ”80% of people say that if seriously ill, they would want to talk to their doctor about end-of-life care, while only 7% have an end-of-life conversation with their doctor.”

In the article that I published I said, “As members of the funeral profession why are we ok with the conversation about our area of expertise being controlled by someone else?”

In an article written by Krystal Penrose of funeralOne she takes my question a step further and breaks down three very prominent opportunities for this profession to be involved in the conversation project.

From the FuneralOne blog:

1. Improve the funeral profession’s reputation

I don’t know why or how this horrible misconception came to be, but unfortunately, the funeral profession is seen in a very bad light to the media, Hollywood and the general public. We’re seen as creepy, cold human beings who handle dead bodies, and that’s it. The Conversation Project would have been the perfect opportunity to shoot that misconception down.

The Harvard Business Review recently said: “The first place for these hard [end-of-life] conversations is not in medical offices with doctors, who are often uncomfortable with and untrained in initiating them, and it’s certainly not in emergency rooms or intensive care units. It’s at the kitchen table.”

The Conversation Project is there to facilitate those hard conversations. But as a profession who specializes in helping families make their loved one’s end-of-life meaningful, we should be a part of this.

The conversation around death care services is completely being controlled by organizations that aren’t representing the funeral profession and they are doing a huge disservices to the profession by sharing false information with millions of families. Many families are developing extremely negative opinions of the funeral director and the value of the funeral service (or lack there of).

In her article Kelly goes on to discuss a few opportunities funeral professionals can maximize in their communities to start debunking the negative untrue perception the public has of the funeral profession.

I challenge the profession to go a step further and look at perhaps the most valuable social platform that we have never mentioned on this site before, Quora.com.

Quora connects you to everything you want to know about. Quora aims to be the easiest place to write new content and share content from the web. We organize people and their interests so you can find, collect and share the information most valuable to you.

When you want to know more about something, Quora delivers you answers and content from people who share your interests and people who have first-hand knowledge — like real doctors, economists, screenwriters, police officers, and military veterans. On Quora, it’s easy to create a personalized homepage of everything you want to know about by following topics, questions, people and boards.

Simply put, Quora.com is a high level question and answer platform.Guess what? There is a massive amount of questions being asked about funeral services and the funeral process. Guess who is not involved in these highly visible conversations, the funeral profession. These questions are being answered again and again by outside the profession organizations.

How is this profession going to get back to being the expert and not a random national organization?

Here are some of the questions that have been asked related to the keyword “cremation”:

Why do Indians run their dead to the Ganges?

If I had an urn with cremated remains in it what would I be able to learn from them?

Funerals: What are the pros and cons of embalming?

Posts: Is cremation more popular in the U.S.?

How many pets are cremated annually in North America?

What are the legal restrictions (if any) regarding spreading the ashes of a cremated body?

Is it better environmentally to be cremated or buried?

Ryan Thogmartin
Ryan Thogmartin

Ryan Thogmartin is deathcare’s most disruptive voice. The guy who turned a historically silent profession into a content-driven, culture-shaping, conversation-dominating landscape. As the CEO of DISRUPT Media, the largest and most creative agency in funeral service, Ryan has spent over a decade helping funeral companies win attention, build brand authority, and grow call volume with bold creative that actually converts. He’s also the founder and publisher of ConnectingDirectors.com, the largest and most influential publication in deathcare, reaching more funeral professionals every month than any other platform in the profession’s history.

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Comments 3

  1. Jeff Harbeson says:
    14 years ago

    The article reminds me of the travel industry many years ago..prior to the “internet” age we all relied on the travel agent to make our plans. Then along came the internet…the relevance of the travel agent was depleted because consumers were able to research, and ultimately, make their own arrangements online. How many travel agencies (shops, locations) did you see prior to 1995 and how many can you find now? Based on this notion, could the funeral home become only a processing center because consumers educate themselves outside the doors of the funeral home?

    So, in the funeral industry, we must start the conversation, be open to listen to what is being said, and meet the consumers needs. Take the lead and be proactive reaching out to medical, senior care, hospice, religious and legal professionals…they are looking for the conversation!

    • Ryan Thogmartin says:
      14 years ago

      Great comparison Jeff. You are exactly right.

    • Krystal says:
      14 years ago

      Jeff – great point. And very true! For us, I think the first, easiest (And cheapest) step to take is by embracing the Internet and social media and NOT running away from it! Too many professionals are scared of change, but it’s change that will actually SAVE their funeral business.

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