In this talk, Caleb explores options that help us pursue death acceptance by taking back death care responsibilities.
Do you think funeral homes charge too much for their merchandise and services?
Just to be clear, I — like most independent funeral directors — don’t like corporate run funeral homes. I think they’re bad for consumers and they hurt the already injured public perception of the funeral industry by perpetuating the money-hungry mortician stereotype.
But, I want to be fair in my treatment of corporate run funeral homes. Here are four reasons I hate them and four reasons I like them.
Fred Phelps died. A couple days ago, we learned that the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church – infamous for its hate filled rhetoric and base propaganda tactics – was dying; a fact that produced a number of us to reflect on Phelps’ life and feel some sense of satisfaction knowing that it was coming to an end.
The 32-year-old mortician, who once considered becoming a Christian minister, is an Internet icon redefining a staid profession and opening up conversations about life’s ultimate concerns.
I grabbed my suit, put it back on, drove to the funeral home, loaded the collapsible stretcher into the hearse and off I went to Such and Such.
I pull up to the front door of the nursing home. A new nurse greets me and tells me she doesn’t want me “dragging the body through her wing.”
Funeral photography, funeral selfies and “corpsies” via mobile devices are becoming more and more normal at death beds AND funerals, despite the fact that they’re seen by many as pure sacrilege. Huffington Post stated that such images are “evidence the apocalypse can’t come soon enough.”
I myself once felt uncomfortable with the idea of deathbed / funeral selfies, but I’ve slowly become more open. Here’s why:
The funeral industry is too often known for its worst practitioners. The practitioners who take financial advantage of the bereaved in their most helpless state. Those who price gouge and exploit. Those who use the dark side of the Force.
I picked up the phone with my rehearsed, “Hello. This is the Wilde Funeral Home. Caleb speaking.” The voice on the other end says abruptly, “I have a problem … my son-in-law was killed in a motorcycle accident yesterday.”
He tweets. He blogs. He embalms.
Caleb Wilde is a sixth-generation mortician, working for the family business in small-town Pennsylvania -- a Victorian-style funeral home where the only visible concessions to modernity are two big-screen televisions used by overflow crowds to watch a service.
But when he’s not making 2 a.m. house calls and loading “customers” (the deceased) into “the pickup” (the hearse), Wilde is engaged in the most modern of pursuits: spreading his very intimate view of death on the web.