Same-Sex Marriage: A Funeral Director’s Lesson in Tolerance

video is not showing due to privacy settings on Facebook?

Thank you for speaking out for what is right, and for the good advice.

As funeral professionals, we are here to make our families feel comfortable and cared for. The simple act of word choice can definitely convey this. As a gay man, and especially now as a parent, I encounter daily situations with people assuming I have a wife or a female partner. Whether being questioned about my family status by a friendly receptionist at the pediatrician’s, or just in exchanging simple pleasantries, these conversational assumptions are almost always innocent and are simply based on social norms. While this certainly does not offend me, my heart speeds up and it always feels a bit like stepping out on onto a stage (or ledge) when I have to tell the person that I have a husband; I never know how the person will respond, or if our conversation about the weather is about to be derailed. Once said, the other person often struggles to somehow convey that they didn’t mean to offend me (which
they didn’t), and I am uncomfortable seeing a well-meaning person grapple with
something unimportant.

When somebody chooses their words in a way that avoids this conflict, it is noticed, appreciated, and helps keep the conversation on track and the atmosphere comfortable and welcoming. As funeral directors we can all appreciate the importance of making people feel welcome and valued.