“Grave Expectations” gives you a rare opportunity for initiating conversations about what to do when you or someone you know dies. We will take you by the hand and lead you through this inevitable journey that has a reputation for being difficult and morbid, but we don?t believe it has to be either. In fact, we think you might have the time of your life ? well ? you may really, really, really enjoy it.
We believe everyone should express what he or she wants at the end of his or her lives. You will end up planning your parents? funeral, or your spouse?s ? but if you don?t do it in advance, you will be doing it when you are grief-stricken, emotionally exhausted, and dreading having to deal with all the details.
“Grave Expectations” gives you multiple opportunities to open up and talk about your fears and funeral ? with your husband, wife, children, parents and partner. Just think about when you?re writing away in this book and your spouse or kids walk by and ask you what you?re doing and you get to say, ?I?m planning my funeral!! Want to help me?? Doing the book with the ones you love can be an event in itself. Many people deny the fact of death, but by ignoring the inevitable (it?s 100% fatal), they miss the opportunity to commemorate and rejoice in their lives.
Ideally when you get done with this book, it should be a big mess!! We have a vision or copies of “Grave Expectations” covered in posted notes, dog eared, written in, scratched out and changed, wine ? tear-stained pages, sections ripped out, big colorful hearts and doodles scrawled all over, and entire parts blacked out: like when you get documents from the government through the Freedom of Information Act.
By reading and working with this book, you will not only take care of some important business, but you will have also taken a step towards accepting your own mortality. According to psychiatrists, fear of death is the greatest fear of all (ok, maybe after public speaking), and it is the root of many of our neuroses ? even though it?s the inevitable event of all our lives.
Just dive in, browse, and go after the stuff that interests you the most. You can pick it up and put it down, like you might a journal. Travel with the book, take it to work, take it to family gatherings, do it in the bathroom. No place is too exalted or sacred to plan the end. Most of all, be free in your thinking ? don?t censor yourself in planning as you go through the book. Two words of advice: Don?t Worry!! This is not the time to be afraid. Don?t be embarrassed or judgmental about any strange ideas you might have. Be aware that uncomfortable feelings and thoughts and reactions will come up ? just let them rise to the surface anyway. You can always change your mind later. Be totally creative, put things in the book that inspire you ever they feel inappropriate. Who is judging?
