Happy November! I hope you all are having an amazing kickoff to the holiday season!
Now, you might say, “Eli, it’s not the holiday season yet!” And to that, I would say, “If it’s not the holiday season yet, then how come I’ve been eating two Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes EVERY SINGLE MORNING since October 27th?”
And that’s the truth.
See, a few weeks ago, I saw a sale: “2 boxes for $6.” And I decided I would buy 6 boxes. There are 5 cakes per box, so for the small price of $18, I walked away with 30 cakes.
And between giving a few away, subbing out dinner for a couple more this past Sunday, and having my daily breakfast, I’m down to my last box.
Anyway, y’all aren’t here for my Christmas treat addiction. Y’all are here for some hard-hitting funeral satire and good vibes—and those start RIGHT NOW after this word from our sponsor!
Funerals Now Have Two Rooms. Are You Caring for Both?
A New Insight for Funeral Directors
We came home from NFDA 2026 in Charlotte with an important new insight: More and more funeral directors are being asked to livestream services for the families they serve.
Their challenge now is how to close the gap between the beautiful in-person experiences they provide and the experiences they’re offering online guests in that same moment.
Think about it.
In Room One: Your chapel. Guests are greeted personally. Soft music plays. Beautiful flowers are thoughtfully arranged. Every word can be heard clearly. A funeral director is ready to help.
In Room Two: The online guests. Many wish they could have attended in person. They’re hoping they have the right time and link. Sometimes there are only a handful; other times, hundreds join from near and far.
The question? Who’s caring for the guests in Room Two?
Can those guests hear every word? Can they see the service clearly? Can they contact someone with a question or get help if something goes wrong? Do they feel like invited guests or anonymous viewers?
Funeral homes have spent generations perfecting the in-person experience.
How can you extend that same level of care and attention to the guests in Room Two?
Stop simply streaming. Start including every guest.
Foveo helps you make sure every online guest can HEAR IT, SEE IT, and FEEL INCLUDED.
Discover how Foveo can help you close the gap
Funeral Home Radio Flips for First Time in 30 Years Following Surge in Intern Turnout
FAIRFIELD, OH — In a stunning upset that has sent shockwaves through the local funeral profession, a decades-long reign of adult contemporary music has officially come to an end after a surge in young intern turnout flipped the results of Henderson & Sons Funeral Home’s annual radio station election.
For nearly 30 years, employees at Henderson & Sons have faithfully tuned the prep room radio to Soft Rock 101.3, enjoying a steady rotation of Phil Collins, Michael Bolton, and the occasional Celine Dion hit while embalming, dressing, and casketing the deceased.
But this year, things were different.
“We’ve been listening to the same 40 songs since 1996,” said 21-year-old funeral intern Tyler Mitchell, who spearheaded the movement for change alongside fellow intern Madison Brooks. “I respect the traditions of funeral service, but I don’t think listening to ‘Careless Whisper’ while aspirating a body is one of them.”
The two interns spent weeks campaigning for a new station, promising employees a more diverse musical selection, fewer saxophone solos, and the possibility of hearing a song released within the last five years.
Their message resonated with several longtime employees, including 63-year-old funeral director Richard Palmer, who had voted for adult contemporary in every election since 1998.
“You know, I’ve always supported the adult contemporary station,” Palmer explained. “My father embalmed to adult contemporary. His father embalmed to adult contemporary. But maybe it’s time for a change. I think these young people deserve a chance to be heard.”
Palmer added that he still had some concerns about the proposed changes, particularly whether newer music would provide the same steady rhythm he’d grown accustomed to while setting features.
The interns’ victory, however, has not been universally celebrated.
Funeral home owner Gary Henderson, a staunch supporter of the incumbent station, has already threatened to use his executive authority to block the transition.
“Look, I want to work with these new employees. I really do,” Henderson told reporters. “I think we can find common ground. But if they start playing music I don’t like, I will veto it. And I have a very powerful veto. Possibly the most powerful veto this funeral home has ever seen.”
Henderson also reminded employees that while the election was technically democratic, he still owns the building, pays the electric bill, and has personally signed every intern’s apprenticeship paperwork.
Meanwhile, not everyone is convinced the change will make much of a difference.
“Look, I’ve been tired of our current station for years, but you think the new one’s gonna be any better?” said embalmer Dennis Crawford, who abstained from voting. “Wake up, people. They’re all broadcasting from the same tower. Same advertisers. Same people pulling the strings. They want us fighting over whether we listen to Phil Collins or Sabrina Carpenter while they make millions selling ads for mattress stores and personal injury attorneys. Doesn’t matter who wins. The average embalmer still gets stuck listening to the same six commercials every 20 minutes. The whole system’s rigged.”
Other employees have expressed concerns about how the change might affect the funeral home’s daily operations, with one senior director questioning whether the new station would be appropriate for late-night removals and another asking if the radio could be turned off entirely during arrangement conferences.
At press time, Henderson had agreed to a peaceful transition of radio stations, provided the new administration could guarantee that at least one Phil Collins song would be played before lunch and that no changes would be made to the station playing in the hearse.
ASK THE FUNERAL DUDE!
Hey Funeral Dude! The big conventions are over, Thanksgiving is around the corner, and I’m tired. Can I call it a year and coast for a few months? -Mr.Q4
Well, the key is mastering the art of the end-of-year drop-off.
Obviously, funeral service doesn’t stop for the holidays. Families still need to be served, arrangements still need to be made, and dignity must be maintained at all times.
But everything else? That can wait until January.
Sales rep wants to schedule a meeting? January. Thinking about implementing a new procedure? January. Planning some much-needed renovations to the arrangement room that still has wallpaper from 1987? You guessed it. January.
It’s a time-honored tradition in funeral service.
Does it make sense to bring nearly all business development to a screeching halt for the final six weeks of every year? Not particularly. But neither does wearing a three-piece suit to mow the cemetery lawn, and yet here we are.
The secret is mastering a few key phrases:
“Hey, let’s circle back after the holidays.”
“I’d love to, but we’re really just trying to get through the end of the year.”
“I’ve got a lot of personal obligations right now.”
“Let’s put a pin in that until January.”
“With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, I just don’t think we have the bandwidth.”
“Sounds great! Shoot me an email after the first of the year.”
That last one is particularly powerful because it transfers the responsibility of remembering the conversation entirely to the other person.
And remember, Mr. Q4, January doesn’t actually mean January. January means you’re getting caught up from the holidays. February means you’re finally settling back into your routine. And by March, well, it’s practically convention season again.
It’s the circle of life. Or, in our profession, the circle of death.
Stay dignified,
The Funeral Dude
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Your weekly distraction.
Okay, this is a great fall watch! For the past couple of autumns, this video and this tournament have become great comforting background watches. It’s hard to explain but just check it out and be endeared!
