Hey y’all! It is FRIDAY! This month is flying by, and I’m a little sad about that because October is the BEST month of the year. But we’re about to kick off the holiday season, which is the best season of the year. In my head, “season” beats “month.” So, we still have one more Friday this month and then we say hello to the holiday season and start cranking Christmas music.
As we all know, Christmas music begins November first.
Holiday Tracker
1 Friday until Halloween
4 Fridays until Thanksgiving
8 Fridays until Christmas
A New Way to Include Every Guest!
Foveo + Zendora: We’re bringing something new for you!
If you’re looking for a new way to add value for the families you serve, come to Booth 1551 at NFDA 2026 in Charlotte.
Zendora is a meaningful new way for guests to send gifts selected by the family.
We’ve learned that inclusion naturally leads to trust and engagement. Is your online experience building those relationships with future families?
Discover how Foveo’s partnership with Zendora helps funeral homes move beyond simply livestreaming to deliver more inclusive experiences for families and their guests.
Stop streaming. Start including.
Visit us at Booth #1551 to learn about Zendora and enjoy a little Canadian sweetness while you’re there!
Or, as Bob and Doug McKenzie might say: “Give ’er a look, eh! She’s a real beaut! No dooubt aboot it!”
See what Foveo’s bringing to NFDA here!
Funeral Home Owner Spends $40,000 Renovating Arrangement Room, Still Won’t Replace Break Room Microwave
ASHLAND, OH — After investing more than $40,000 into a complete renovation of his funeral home’s arrangement room, local funeral home owner Richard Henderson has confirmed that replacing the employee break room microwave is “just not in the budget right now.”
The newly renovated arrangement room features Italian leather seating, custom hardwood cabinetry, recessed lighting, a 75-inch touchscreen display, and a state-of-the-art coffee station capable of producing 14 different beverages.
Meanwhile, the break room microwave, a 1997 Kenmore with a missing handle and a mysterious brown stain on the ceiling, continues to serve the funeral home’s eight employees.
“Look, we’re committed to providing families with a first-class experience,” Henderson explained while demonstrating the arrangement room’s new motorized window shades. “But we also have to be responsible stewards of our resources.”
According to staff, the microwave has not displayed the correct time since 2011, requires users to press the start button with a ballpoint pen, and makes a noise described by one employee as “a small airplane trying to escape a metal trash can.”
“It’s honestly impressive that it still works,” said funeral director Kevin Mitchell. “Last Tuesday, I put my lunch in for two minutes, and it came out frozen on one side and somehow on fire on the other.”
Mitchell added that the microwave’s door must be held shut with one hand during operation, a practice Henderson has repeatedly referred to as “teamwork.”
Employees reportedly approached Henderson about purchasing a replacement microwave during a recent staff meeting, pointing out that a new one could be purchased for approximately $89.
“That’s $89 we could be putting toward serving families,” Henderson responded, before approving a $2,400 decorative waterfall for the arrangement room.
The renovation also included a $6,000 custom-built refreshment center, complete with imported marble countertops and a commercial-grade espresso machine.
Staff members are not permitted to use it.
“We want families to feel like they’re at home,” Henderson explained. “Not the employees. They’re already at work.”
At press time, Henderson was reportedly considering a $12,000 upgrade to the funeral home’s lobby sound system while asking employees to stop using so many paper towels.
The microwave, meanwhile, has begun making a new clicking noise, which Henderson described as “probably nothing.”
ASK THE FUNERAL DUDE!
A family recently asked if we could play the deceased’s favorite song, “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC, as the casket was being carried out of the chapel. I want to honor their wishes, but I’m concerned about the message it might send. Is there a dignified way to play this song at a funeral?
– Stairway to Concern
Dear Stairway to Concern,
I must admit, I nearly dropped my dignity monocle upon reading your letter.
“Highway to Hell” is certainly an unconventional selection, but my primary concern is not the song’s title. It is the tempo.
At 116 beats per minute, there is a very real possibility that your pallbearers could begin walking with a swagger. And I have spent 37 years in funeral service ensuring that no pallbearer under my supervision has ever swaggered.
My recommendation is simple: Allow the song, but require all attendees to remain seated, maintain a solemn expression, and refrain from tapping their feet.
Should anyone begin playing air guitar, the service must be stopped immediately and dignity restored before proceeding.
Remember, we are here to honor a life, not headline a rock festival.
Dignity above all,
The Funeral Dude
GIF OF THE WEEK
