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Home Professional Guidance & Resources

Engagement, It’s The Secret Sauce

Ryan Thogmartin by Ryan Thogmartin
October 22, 2025
in Professional Guidance & Resources, Staffing & HR
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Social channels are not your “Field of Dreams.” Just because you build it doesn’t mean customers and fans are going to show up and start playing! You have to get them there and keep them engaged.

 

A phrase I like to use with clients is: “Telling is not selling, and selling is not engaging”. People don’t want to be sold to, they want to talk and be conversational.

 

Gary Vaynerchuk puts it in more animated terms by saying, “Everyone in social media marketing today is like a 19 year old dude: they try to close too fast”.

When it comes to engaging with your customer, or more general, your audience, there is one major rule: DON’T BE A 19 YEAR OLD DUDE!

 

Research is showing that most people in social networks don’t want to talk about your services, they just want to talk. We’ve long known that inserting funeral homes into social-media channels requires a conversational touch, but many are surprised by just how conversational. There’s increasing evidence that the most effective kinds of posts on these websites are simple, random, even silly statements: What are you doing this weekend? What is your ideal vacation? What’s your favorite movie or book? What is on your Bucket-List?

 

As a rule: two-thirds of a funeral home’s Facebook content should be conversational in nature. Conversational posts produce 8 to 12 times the response of more company-oriented ones. It’s not always about your firm. It’s about why people are there…to connect with other people, and (getting them) to connect with you because they like you. The numbers speak for themselves.

 

Though not industry related, the following numbers from the Oreo Facebook Page are staggering. Oreo is masterful in handling that balance between promotion and conversation. Consider the responses from several recent questions:

 

  • “Ever try dunking an Oreo cookie with a fork or anything else?” Generated 8,200 “likes” and 2,300 comments

 

  • “Pick a flavor, any flavor! If you could create a new Oreo cream flavor, what would it be?” Generated 7,100 “likes”, 12,500 comments

 

  • “Pop quiz: Twist, lick, then…” Generated 6,500 “likes”, 6,200 comments

 

A single engaging post on a funeral home Facebook Page can reach 1000’s of people. If 98% of the posts are positive, the value is incredible.

 

What’s the value of all that to your firm? For the cost of $0.00 you have increased positive brand sentiment, generated a measurable earned-media value, and now have 100+ more people with whom you can share information. Not a bad ROI.

 

In the end it’s behavior-based – a Facebook fan has no value. Getting a Facebook fan to do something does.

Ryan Thogmartin
Ryan Thogmartin

Ryan Thogmartin is deathcare’s most disruptive voice. The guy who turned a historically silent profession into a content-driven, culture-shaping, conversation-dominating landscape. As the CEO of DISRUPT Media, the largest and most creative agency in funeral service, Ryan has spent over a decade helping funeral companies win attention, build brand authority, and grow call volume with bold creative that actually converts. He’s also the founder and publisher of ConnectingDirectors.com, the largest and most influential publication in deathcare, reaching more funeral professionals every month than any other platform in the profession’s history.

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Comments 1

  1. Brian Young says:
    14 years ago

    Thanks for a practical example Ryan. How popular might a funeral home become if it engaged it’s community with unexpected but fun trivial escapes like the Oreo question in informal places — like Facebook.

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