Pilfered Postboxes & Aspirational Kitchens | 4M #79
Welcome to the seventy-ninth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #79, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!
Well, “bizarre” is a bit harsh …
Deathcare has a growing presence on TikTok, so is OnlyFans the next logical platform to conquer? Maybe … maybe not. Although the headline “OnlyFans icon reveals bizarre career U-turn as she turns to ‘morbid’ funeral industry” might sound a little salacious, it’s actually quite bland. No near-porn-stars-turned-embalmers here. In reality, “icon” Chloe Kahn, 30, has simply invested a portion of her OnlyFans fortune in some unspecified deathcare investments. “I’ve got into funeral finance, so I don’t have anything to do with it personally, I know it sounds a bit morbid but I don’t go to coffins or anything weird,” she told an outlet. “My thing is just a couple of Zoom calls twice a year but yeah I invested in funeral finance and solar energy storage.”
We’ll take this as a compliment
Aren’t you guys a bunch of trendsetters! Apparently a whole lot of folks want their kitchens to look just like your embalming room. “Mortuary chic” is the newest “aspirational kitchen” to appear on home improvement shows and design magazines. The style is overwhelmingly white: From the shaker cabinets to the subway tile backsplash to the white marble countertops, the “ethos of the contemporary aspirational kitchen is the sanitary sterility of a mortuary” according to this article in The Bulwark.
Machetes and bats and bricks, oh my
No, family disagreements at funerals aren’t unusual. And yes, you’ve all probably witnessed arguments, shouting matches, and perhaps even a fight or two. However, it’s rare to see a full-out graveside brawl, complete with a high-speed car chase and mob-movie-quality attack like the one that happened in Wales recently. And it was all caught on video.
Making amends
Remember the “Postbox to Heaven” story we shared a few weeks back? A UK funeral home installed a mailbox outside its locations so families could drop in notes to their deceased loved ones. Well, recently someone decided they needed one of those boxes more than the grieving families did and stole it. When he realized what he had done, apparently he had a change of heart, and returned the box to the funeral home with £20 and an apologetic note:
The secret’s out
It’s more than likely there is no course on search engine optimization (SEO) in mortuary school. But that’s ok, because the cool kids at MemoryShare know all about it — and they know how to improve yours … while at the same time making streaming services super simple for your staff. Get ready for a little mortuary math here (also probably not a class):
SEO + superior streaming services + super simplicity + safety and security =
The MemoryShare not-so-secret sauce for success
MemoryShare’s exclusive app makes streaming super easy; you can record your full service with the touch of a button. By sharing these streams with your community, you showcase your excellent service and create name recognition with the viewers. Aaaannnd that’s not all, folks. Because MemoryShare videos are embedded on your own website (and not on the site of a separate streaming provider) your site gets more views, which results in street cred with the search engines.
Two things funeral homes need in 2023 are visibility and increased call volume. MemoryShare provides both of these things as well as a team of REAL people you can talk to if you ever run into trouble. So what are you waiting for? Learn more about MemoryShare today!
