Poultry from Space | Friday Funeral Fast Wrap #11

IT MIGHT NOT BE THAT BAD

Right now, there are a lot of worst-case scenarios going around.  Honestly, it can be pretty stressful. Between all the unprecedented times, political conflict, and uncertainty, it can be really hard to keep the negatives from getting to you. AND you might be worried about things that aren’t news related at all. I get it. In full transparency, I, the person writing this, stayed up till 2 am playing through all the worst-case/hypothetical scenarios involving a loved one I couldn’t reach. After I fell asleep and woke up a little more level-headed, I found out THEY WEREN’T TRUE! My friend was a-okay and a little patience would have served me well.  See, right now, you might be worried about things that don’t exist at all. We often spend too much time focusing on what might be and not what is.  So, today to kick-off your weekend the right way, we’re going to focus on some good, fun things to usher in some light. Right now, I’m inviting you to drop the bad vibes, enjoy some GIFS and focus on the positives!

Here we go! Here’s a GIF of someone injuring themselves to clear your mind!

THE SPACE CEMETERY

Get ready to feel like a trendy millennial because our first story doesn’t come from our news site, it comes from the Connecting Directors Instagram! To see the full thing, click here! ←- do this after reading the article. It’ll spoil it.

See, basically, there’s a cemetery out there that’s like no other. I know, I know, everyone thinks they have the best piece of land with the most history and the friendliest team. BUT, this graveyard is out-of-this-world. OR should I say what this graveyard holds is out of this world…

Aliens? Nope.

Martians? Same thing, nope.

Invaders from space? For the third time, nope.

Actually, the cemetery I’m talking about holds the debris of hundreds of pieces of spacecraft!

“Okay cool. People are like taking chunks of space metal and burying them in some grassy patch in Area 51?” – Imaginary funeral director in my head.

Well, not quite. See, that’s the other cool thing about this cemetery; it’s actually just a very remote spot in the ocean…the most remote point in the ocean. Labeled Point Nemo, this very watery spot has been deemed the safest place to de-orbit spacecraft from all across the world. 

There are no landmarks, no markers, no cool merch store, and that’s what makes it perfect.

Sounds cool, right? Well…if you’re more into traditional burial, there’s one thing you might not like…

These bad boys get cremated. Sorry, if you were hoping to move-up your margins with a new space cemetery, just know they won’t be buying your high-end package. Most of these ships/rockets/space-junk things burn up in the atmosphere, making it more of a scattering ceremony.

There you have it! Wanna be a space funeral director? Go for it, shoot for the moon; if you miss, you might end up crashing inside of Point Nemo.

THE PILGRIM FUNERAL DIRECTOR

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, actually there’s only one more FFFW before the big day. So, we’re gonna start celebrating right now with some exclusive Thanksgiving funeral content. Here we go!

FAST FACTS

1. According to Google, 46 million turkeys die each year for Thanksgiving
2. The Pilgrims didn’t have headstones
3. A hearse was once driven in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Also, don’t be this guy!

CRUSH SOCIAL MEDIA AS A FUNERAL HOME

(SPONSORED)

Funeral homes and any death-care business NEED a good social media presence. This isn’t always as easy as it seems. BUT… if you’re looking for an easy way to get some likes on your page, we have you covered!

Top 3 Things that are social media gold.

1) Babies. People love babies. They’re chunky, they’re small, and they just randomly stare at people a lot. That being said, if you see a picture of a baby on social media and you DON’T engage with it – you actually are a bad person. Like no joke. Well, kind of no joke.

2) Puppies. These are like babies with more fur and less questioning about its parents being “ready yet.” I like puppies, you like puppies, and we all like to LIKE puppies on social media.

3) Puppies and Babies. That’s right; it’s not rocket science. Babies do good, puppies do good, you combine them, and you get something simply amazing! This is like french fries dipped in a Wendy’s Frosty; it’s simply a combo that is almost too good to be true!

Now, these three types of content are fantastic, but if you want a social media strategy that REALLY works for you and your funeral home – you need to do a little more than that. You need DISRUPT Media.

DISRUPT Media understands that creative/digital marketing can seem complicated and can be confusing. They take care of all the stressful stuff and make social media simple for you. With years of experience and proven strategies, they know how to use social media to gain leads, build awareness, and grow your business!

Click here to learn more!

Watch this whole GIF for a satisfying ending!

WANT AN AD IN FFFW LIKE THIS? JUST SHOOT RYAN AN EMAIL AT RYAN@DISRUPTMEDIA.CO WE’LL WRITE UP AN ARTICLE AND MAKE A CUSTOM GIF!

YOU OTTER BE PROUD

This is our (mostly) weekly segment where we highlight some amazing things that are going on inside this profession. We get a lot of bad press, so we’re going to highlight the good and continue to keep our chins up!

1) Batesville Receives Industry’s Top Quality and Innovation Scores in 2020 Funeral Service Insider Casket Survey

2) Bob Bukala to Retire as CEO of Foundation Partners Group

3) OGR announces Wendy King as new Executive Director/CEO

There ya go!

Enjoy this week! Starting next Friday we have our FFFW Countdown to Christmas. Come back for all sorts of goodness next Friday! BTW only 5 more Fridays until Christmas!