Welcome to the hundred-and-sixty-seventh edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #167, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!
Bah humbug
Someone with absolutely no holiday spirit has destroyed the marker of Ebenezer Scrooge, the miserly protagonist of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and people in the UK are peeved. Of course, (most) everyone realizes that Scrooge is a fictional character. However, the grave marker bearing his name, which was carved into an existing well-worn stone for the 1984 movie adaptation of the story, had become a popular tourist attraction in the Shrewsbury cemetery where it was showcased. The destruction did give cemetery caretakers the opportunity to erect a new stone engraved with the name of the actual occupant of the plot, but no records were found to confirm that person’s identity. So … a stonemason is now hard at work repairing the existing stone bearing Scrooge’s name.
Going cemeterial?
Gravestone destruction was an unfortunate theme in news headlines last week, as it was also reported that at least 170 markers in a Memphis cemetery were destroyed by three men whose employment there was terminated earlier in the day. The cemetery’s owner says the trio jumped into a company truck and plowed through the grounds, purposely knocking over markers. The owner has declined to press charges or say why the two were fired, even as he’s working to hire temporary employees to fix the damage and notify impacted families.
Lemmy lives on
When Motorhead vocalist and bassist Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister died in 2015, his cremains were shared with many of his closest friends, with each portion contained in a “Lemmy-engraved” bullet. Each recipient has honored the rocker in their own way, including one who had the ashes incorporated into a tribute tattoo. Others, though, have ensured that pieces of Lemmy have been memorialized in many of the places he frequented during his life — most recently, a London strip club. “He loved the relaxed environment — and he certainly loved the view,” Motorhead’s manager said. “I know he’s relieved he can get back to enjoying one of his favorite places.”
Back to its roots
Last week, The New York Times featured a story about how America’s cemeteries are “rewilding,” or encouraging natural growth of native plants instead of maintaining manicured landscapes. Citing naturalization efforts by Green-Wood, Mount Auburn, and Laurel Hill cemeteries, among others, the story cites a pandemic-induced reconnection with nature, the growing interest in green burial, and a response to climate change as factors for this transition. All in all, it’s a refreshingly positive escape from all the negative press that cemeteries sometimes receive.
Et tu, VICE?
Speaking of that negative press about cemeteries … A VICE reporter has taken the recently-revised policies of one England cemetery and terribly twisted the facts to portray rules enacted to protect the grounds as an attempt at price-gouging. Yes, the cemetery has implemented a very minimal fee to let visitors through the locked gates after operating hours when staff are not normally onsite. It’s obvious to us that it’s an attempt to keep unwelcome guests — vandals, drug dealers, wild animals, etc. — from entering and damaging the sacred space. Plus, they’re providing 90 “free VIP passes” to many of the families whose loved ones are interred there. However, the reporter believes this move is “an idea so bad, so callous, so greedy, that you’d think they’d been taken over by an American private equity firm” and that it’s “some real ghoulish shit” enacted by a “g—d— sociopathic maniac.” Ouch. Tell us how you really feel.
Just how immersive is it?
A UK crematory company has taken personalized services to a new level by offering an “immersive” celebration of life experience. Billed as a “funeral of the future,” the service involves “the projection of dynamic theming in the chapel, accompanied by harmoniously coordinated soundscapes and lighting.” Currently, families may choose from 10 background themes, each of which can be even further customized as they desire.
Better than Love Island?
Is there any reality show premise that producers aren’t willing to film? Surprisingly, there does seem to be one “real-life” scenario that won’t be making it to the big screen: Celebrity Embalmers. Yes, this was an actual idea someone pitched, according to a popular UK reality show winner. He explained that he was asked to participate in a show “where stars would get hands-on with preparing bodies for funerals.” Let’s just be thankful that there IS a line, and that it was drawn.
