Welcome to March! I know it’s been said a billion times- but time flies! I mean, think about this; COVID-19 was declared a pandemic in March of 2020. To me that feels like yesterday, but I guess it’s been three years. So, now that I’ve bummed everyone out by bringing up the pandy-wandy, I’m gonna make it up to you. Here is the cutest GIF I could find.
Homesteaders Makes it Rain?
What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.
Some “New?” Jokes about Funeral Homes
If you’ve followed the FFFW for a certain amount of time, then you should know that there are three things I’m a big fan of: 1) Stand-up comedy 2) AI 3) Funeral homes.
So I combined all three. Using AI, I had some new jokes created in the tone of some of my favorite comedians. They’re not “AMAZING,” but they’re better than “Dying to get in there” jokes.
1) Mitch Hedberg
“The last time I went to a funeral home, I saw a sign that said “Please do not touch the deceased.” Like, who’s going around touching dead bodies? That’s just creepy.”
“I think funeral homes should offer a ‘live streaming’ service. That way, people who can’t make it to the funeral can still watch from home. It’s like the Super Bowl, but with more tears.”
2) Chris Rock
“I don’t understand why people spend so much money on caskets. It’s not like the person is going to enjoy it. It’s like buying a Rolls Royce for a blind person.”
“They say that you should never speak ill of the dead, but have you been to a funeral home? That’s basically all people do.”
3) Norm McDonald
“I heard that funeral homes are starting to offer ‘green’ burials, you know, where they bury you without any embalming or fancy casket. Finally, a way to be environmentally friendly and dead at the same time.”
“Funeral homes are the only place where you can actually get a good night’s sleep and nobody will judge you.”
QUIZ TIME
I grew up watching PBS and listening to local radio. Both of them would do these annoying fundraisers where all they did was ask for money. We don’t do that here at the FFFW. We have an amazing partnership with Homesteaders, and they keep this thing running.
But, what I will ask is for you to take a few moments and fill out our annual “Deathcare Survey” for Connecting Directors.
Not only is it free, but three people will be gifted $100 Amazon cards. So, go ahead and fill it out! Thanks!
JUST CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED.
CD COMICS
You Otter Be Proud
1) Hamilton Funeral Home Adds Grief Specialist
2) Dean Lambert to Retire After Nearly 25 Years with Homesteaders
3) Cemetery restoration expert helps honor Lowcountry veterans
