I Searched the Epstein Files for Deathcare Mentions So You Won’t Have To
Unless you’ve been purposely ignoring social media and news outlets, or if you’ve been otherwise engaged with the Olympics (which were epic, BTW!), you probably know that the Department of Justice recently released 3.5 million pages of documents about the late convicted child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
Just to clarify …
I wasn’t interested in exploring anything contained in these files until I began noticing some of the odd non-political, non-disgusting items particular professionals had found using the DOJ’s simple search tool. For example, a professional genealogist I follow had searched the pages for family history-related terms, and found a lot of entries about 23andMe DNA testing (54 total, FYI).
As it turns out, all sorts of regular people have turned searching these files into an obsession. In fact, Town and Country magazine discussed this growing curiosity as “the new Wordle, the new Spelling Bee. It’s like Zillowing your friend’s parent’s house in Beverly Hills to find out how much it’s worth, or looking on StreetEasy to see what that woman who wears a Celine baseball cap at Pilates paid for her classic six.”
Mentions of mortality
So, while I have absolutely no intention of reading about this person’s ranches or islands or planes — or any of the people or activities or crimes associated with them — I did think that it might be interesting to see how many mentions are made of deathcare-related terms, and I found the following:
- “Funeral” = 987 results
- “Funeral home” = 79 results
- “Funeral director” = 23 results
- “Cremation” = 26 results
- “Cemetery” = 142 results
- “Death” = 9004 results
- “Casket” = 32 results
Most of the “funeral” mentions were included in emails from or about employees or acquaintances who were making Epstein or his assistants aware that they’d be temporarily out of touch as they were attending a funeral. “Funeral home” came up in emails when people were notifying Epstein of where a funeral was going to be conducted or where he should send flowers. Nothing unusual, and definitely nothing detrimental to the profession. Phew!
Looks like a cemetery
The “cemetery” and “cremation” mentions were more of the same, except that in most cases the terms were used to express a funereal look or feeling:
Although there were 9,000+ mentions of the word “death,” they, too, were not specifically related to the profession, and ran the gamut from the files related to the extensive investigation into Epstein’s suicide to the language in his last will and testament to newspaper articles about war in the Middle East. And it’s useful to note that many of these entries were duplicates; if the word “death” was mentioned 35 times on one page of a will, it showed up as 35 separate entries in the search results.
Familiar sentiments?
More interesting, though, was the email thread between Epstein and New York publicist Peggy Siegal, who discusses her preparations for her mother’s impending death. It seems that Siegal was making arrangements with fabled funeral-home-to-the-stars Frank E. Campbell Funeral Chapel — and some of her sentiments actually seem oddly relatable:
OK, so maybe most families don’t discuss the fabulous interiors of their brand new BMWs while talking about funeral arrangements, but the rest — dealing with siblings, struggling with product decisions, and learning about deathcare rituals — may sound familiar.
Incidentally, Frank E. Campbell Funeral Chapel was also tasked with handling Epstein’s remains when the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner released the body. The Mortuary Release Document, as well as a copy of the license of the Campbell’s funeral director, are included in the file containing autopsy documents. (Those pages might be interesting to some in the profession, but weren’t something I spent much time perusing.)
That release marked the last mention of Epstein’s own disposition, although one can assume that Campbell’s arranged for transportation of his remains to a funeral home in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, as it is reported that Epstein is buried at the Star of David Cemetery of the Palm Beaches in an unmarked mausoleum niche near his parents’ own (now also unmarked) resting places.
