What Exactly is a “Spa-Like” Funeral Experience? And Should You Offer It?
Recently, a UK publication featured the intriguing headline, “Former Hollyoaks actress opens 21st century ‘spa-like’ funeral home.” Needless to say, it caught our attention. Despite deathcare professionals’ ongoing mission to provide comfort and care for the families you serve, the phrase “spa-like” isn’t a typical descriptor of funeral homes.
But … should it be? And what would that look like?
Butterflies Rising
The former actress-turned-funeral director profiled in the December 15, 2023 edition of the Liverpool Echo is Kelly-Marie Lovelady, who along with her business partner Hayley McCaughran, opened Butterflies Rising Funeral Care in November. Both Lovelady and McCaughran are in their late thirties and have years of deathcare experience.
“Me and Kelly have both been planning this for a long time and we’ve both been in the industry a long, long time,” Lovelady told the Echo. “Although the business and concept is new, we’re not – to the industry. This is where we’ve come to celebrate life instead of the experience being morbid. It’s about taking the taboo away from funerals and moving with the modern times.”
According to the article, “moving with the modern times” means that Butterflies Rising is meant to be a “home [away] from home” and is designed with a “vision for peace and tranquility throughout.” The facility offers three themed chapels (Love, Peace, and Faith), a waterfall in the waiting room, and a “Butterfly Lounge” where families can choose their favorite lighting color. Boucle chairs are draped with throw blankets, neon butterflies and sayings hang in cozy niches, and walls are covered in murals of cherubs and flowers.
“We make little touches that are personalized to the families,” McCaughran says. “We allow you to have your wake ceremony here, your rosary, or even if you just want a small family gathering with champagne, canapes, or afternoon tea – whatever your request.”
Sparrow
Butterflies Rising might be the UK’s version of Sparrow, a self-described “contemporary” funeral home that opened in Brooklyn in 2021. In addition to a “light-filled space, consisting of two ‘celebration rooms,’” Sparrow’s facility also features a retail storefront offering books, stationery, jewelry, self-care items, and “comforting goods” that are also available online.
“We’ve had people come in thinking we were a spa; to me that’s a win,” Sparrow co-owner Erica Hill told the New Yorker in May 2022. The article describes Sparrow’s décor as “pleasantly neutral, with skylights, pastel murals, and a retail storefront on Driggs Avenue that stocks candles, cashmere throws, bath products, and some very nice ceramic vessels made by local women.”
Sparrow’s spa-like vibe extends beyond decor. In August 2023, Hill shared with Good Housekeeping an example of the “white glove service” she provides both the deceased and loved ones with the help of Sparrow’s funeral director Alexander Agard. When a family opted out of a “confined” casket for viewing, Sparrow created a “true experience,” placing the body on a table draped with “beautiful silks.”
“Alex designed a cherry tree grove that was over her and there were candles all around,” Hill recalled, adding that the “family also requested to put out yoga mats so that people who attended could meditate with her.”
The Life Celebrant
Ang Jolie Mei, founder of The Life Celebrant (TLC) funeral home in Singapore, has a different, and perhaps more literal, idea of what “spa-like” services mean. Her facility includes an area called the “Showers of Love Sanctuary” where families can join “trained embalmers and beauticians” in preparing the deceased’s body for services through a “gentle and comforting regime.”
According to the TLC website, the Showers of Love process “is designed to allow family members to be a part of the experience and to touch their loved one for one last time. During the session, you will be given the opportunity to give your dearly departed a facial, wash his hands and hair, and dress the body.”
Families are also encouraged to use the colorful papers in the room to create origami cranes to help “express themselves in times of grief.” The TLC website explains that cranes are thought to be “harbingers of eternal rest and they guide souls towards the Light,” and “the souls of the dearly departed were believed to be carried up to paradise on the wings of the crane.”
While in the Sanctuary, which “houses a comfortable lounge, from the cushy couches to the colorful crane trees,” comforts like “beautiful digital backdrops, scented candles and soothing music are not spared.” These elements “create an intimate, personalized sensory experience for the grieving family members to take a breather,” one of the firm’s YouTube videos explains. The process, according to Ang, is “proven to be highly therapeutic for the family members and bringing about a better closure.”
Can you … and should you?
Although American deathcare practices are definitely moving toward a more personalized, even “bespoke” experience, few of today’s U.S. funeral homes could really be called “spa-like.” Soothing voices, low-key music, and dim lights aside, most traditional funeral homes still feel formal and sanitized rather than comfy and cozy. Is there a happy medium, perhaps, where both approaches can coexist?
Taking cues from the above-referenced establishments, you could consider small, inexpensive changes, like soft throws tossed across chairs, live plants, and aromatherapy oil diffusers. For the next level of upgrade, perhaps more comfortable or plush sofas and chairs, modern muted lighting, and more home-like accents, like drapes that aren’t velvet and stiff. You could even invest in a couple of massage chairs for immediate family who have been on their feet for hours-long viewings.
Of course, these options will require more personal attention and/or costs to purchase and maintain. Blankets will need to be washed, plants watered and pruned, and diffusers filled. And, realistically, “comfortable” furniture isn’t functional for all visitors, and bougie linens may not be as durable as a waxy voile fabric. And dozens of real candles lining the floor, as shown in the videos above, can be fire hazards. However, some compromises probably could be made.
Maybe you don’t have to go full “spa” like Butterflies, Sparrow, or TLC, but family members might appreciate you amping up their comfort levels and opportunities for rest and relaxation amid the funeral experience. As you know, sometimes it’s the little personalized touches that create a memorable memorable celebration of life — and create those long lasting relationships.
