Vampire Corpses & QAnon Conspiracies | 4M #52

Welcome to the fifty-second edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #52, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

“Thing of nightmares”

An Idaho funeral home owner is facing 63 misdemeanor charges after a series of events the local police captain is calling a “thing of nightmares” and “the worst thing” he’s experienced in his 32 years in law enforcement. Lance Peck, owner of Downard Funeral Home in Pocatello was arrested on August 30, one year after police began investigating complaints of multiple decaying bodies inside the facility. Peck told them his refrigerator was full and he was overwhelmed with bodies from a local university’s anatomical donation program — even though that university says they suspended their relationship with him in May 2020. A total of 12 decomposing bodies were discovered, including one in a vehicle, one in a garage, and one on a bed. Peck surrendered his license and the funeral home was shuttered in September 2021. Although free on bond, Peck faces up to 30 years in prison for the current charges — and more serious felony charges could follow.

Deathcare is dominating the NYT reviews

Looking for a good beach read for that last-minute vacay or something to fill your time between calls? Well, you’re in luck, because critics at the New York Times just published its “10 New Books We Recommend This Week,” and two of them are directly related to deathcare! They are:

• The Pallbearers Club by Paul Tremblay, a “delightfully morbid, surprisingly sensitive horror novel” that is “narrated by a 17-year-old who starts an after-school club whose three members attend wakes and funerals.” Fun!!
• All the Living and the Dead by Hayley Campbell, who “explores the logistics and bureaucracy of death, introducing readers to embalmers, funeral directors and more.”

This week in DeathTok …

Melissa Jo, aka TikTok’s Funeral Babe, is definitely doing her part to dispel the myth that all funeral directors are solemn, suited, mature males. Not only is she gorgeous (notice we didn’t preface that with the clichéd “drop-dead” — you’re welcome); Jo, a funeral director in New York, is also gaining a “legion of fans” (525k) to whom she offers “a fascinating look behind the scenes of where the dead are prepared for their final resting place.” Her videos have addressed topics from grief and loss and the “spa treatment” qualities of body prep to the differences in mortuary and regular cosmetics and why funeral homes use red lighting.

QAnon + the Queen = Quazy Quackpot Quonspiracies

As the literal world mourns the death of Queen Elizabeth, the folks over at QAnon are oh-so-busy with their conspiracy theories. Among them:

• She was part of a group operating a global child sex trafficking ring,
• She participated in satanic rituals and drank the blood of children,
• She died several months ago and her image has since been accomplished with CGI and body doubles,
• She was one of many reptiles who have controlled humankind since ancient times, and BEST OF ALL …
• She was “executed following a military tribunal because she had Diana killed after Diana learned of the Epstein blackmail scheme.”

We’ll just leave that one right there for ya.

Archaeological CSI

Just as scientists solved an ancient cold case involving two murdered mummies (one stabbed and another who died from a dislocated spine) discovered in South America, Polish researchers have uncovered what they believe to be the remains a “female vampire” held to the ground by a sickle around her neck. The skeleton, which dates to the 17th century, also had a padlock on its toe, which is “attributed to superstitions about how to keep the dead from rising from the grave.” The sickle would have prevented that too, as it “could have cut the dead person’s head if they tried to rise again.” Archaeologists believe she may have raised suspicions about being a vampire because she had a “front tooth that jutted out of the mouth.” Thank goodness we’ve evolved beyond those beliefs … and that someone invented braces.

The secret’s out

It’s more than likely there is no course on search engine optimization (SEO) in mortuary school. But that’s ok, because the cool kids at MemoryShare know all about it — and they know how to improve yours … while at the same time making streaming services super simple for your staff. Get ready for a little mortuary math here (also probably not a class):

SEO + superior streaming services + super simplicity + safety and security = 

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MemoryShare’s exclusive app makes streaming super easy; you can record your full service with the touch of a button. By sharing these streams with your community, you showcase your excellent service and create name recognition with the viewers. Aaaannnd that’s not all, folks. Because MemoryShare videos are embedded on your own website (and not on the site of a separate streaming provider) your site gets more views, which results in street cred with the search engines. 

Two things funeral homes need in 2022 are visibility and increased call volume. MemoryShare provides both of these things as well as a team of REAL people you can talk to if you ever run into trouble. So what are you waiting for? Learn more about  MemoryShare today!